Reminiscence
by ScriptedLullabies
Summary: Starting her senior year, Emily feels like her life couldn't be more perfect. Though flashes of past memories still haunt her. First love. That's what she was for Emily. Two summers have passed but the feeling remains. Uncertainty makes her can't let go completely. And then she meets the new girl in Rosewood High. Paily AU.
1. Chapter 1 : Strangers Again

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Pretty Little Liars. Nor the image I used for the cover. Though I own all of these mundane words I'd managed to write in one fateful night as the aftermath of drowning myself in Paily feels from one story to another countless story. Of this I'm actually quite proud of.

* * *

**Author's Note : **First of all, pardon my ramblings up there. Second, I am merely a fan of Paily's fanfiction, that's exactly why I got urged to write this, (if that makes any sense at all). Third, this is my first time writing a story. Fourth, in English nonetheless, when I even still stumble on my own native language. So please pardon all the errors I've made.

Last but not least, it's obvious I wrote this for my enjoyment, but **I'm huge on learning**. So, constructive feedback and review would be much appreciated. I know I have so much to improve. Thanks to those who even bother reading as far as this last word... of the author's note. So here goes...

* * *

Emily took another deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. While she was doing her final stretching, she glanced over to her left, catching the sight of her friends and her mom, sitting on one of the bleachers, well, Aria, Spencer, and Pam were. Hanna, of course, was jumping up and down while holding out a very embarrassing banner while yelling, 'Go, Emily! Go!'

She could only smile at her friend's antic. She still couldn't believe how lucky she was, having the most supportive parents and friends who loved her for everything she is. How she managed to gain Coach Fulton's trust as anchor at a very important meet of the season. It was the final meet in her junior year, the more reason for her to do her best and end the season with another victory for The Sharks.

Yet, her train of thoughts only added to her nerves, pressured her to perform her best, to make her family and friends proud, to prove to Coach Fulton and her teammates that she deserved the anchor position, that she wouldn't disappoint them. She shook her head, determined not to let doubts got the best of her. She stepped on the block, putting on her goggles. She positioned herself firmly.

She set her mind to one goal and one goal only. She took everything in, all the noise in the natatorium; the cheering, the frustrated yelling some coaches were throwing out, the rapid beating of her own heart. She closed her eyes, wanting to hinder everything off. As she silenced out the world around her, she let herself be consumed with one memory.

She could see it so clearly, _her crooked smile and captivating brown eyes_. Then she felt this calmness washed all over her. She opened her eyes, she was ready. She saw how her teammate almost reached the wall, she steadied her stance. In a split second, right after she jumped in, Emily heard that familiar voice in her head. _First step, believe in yourself. Nothing else matters more. _With that, she knew she would win this.

* * *

"Senior year, baby! Whoop, whoop!" exclaimed Hanna, throwing up her hands in the air.

"Ugh, stop, Hanna! You sounded like such an adolescent." Spencer groaned at her friend's enthusiasm.

"Oh, I'm sorry, does Ms. President of the student body with the perfect GPA want me to fetch her morning coffee? Cause someone is grumpy, _as usual!_" Hanna countered, rolling her eyes. "And stop using such a big word. It's too early into the day and you're already ruining my perfect mood, Spence."

"If you ever read anything in your life, _anything of relevance and significance_, 'adolescent' is not an intimidating word, right?" Spencer looked over at her other friends, demanding them to back her up.

"No, no, don't drag us into this. We're perfectly fine watching you two, it's like our own reality show, right Em?" Aria said, getting Emily to chuckle and nod as her response.

It was the first day of their senior year. The four girls sat down on their usual table in the courtyard before first period starting. The night before, Hanna had suggested for them to meet up early to catch up with each other, the other girls excitedly approved of the idea. So, there they were.

The girls started to exchange stories of their summer break. Emily listened intently to her friends and got so amused when Hanna told them the story in which she forced Caleb to renew his wardrobe and go shopping with her, resulting in Caleb got stuck in a sweater he was trying on per Hanna's request, ripping the piece of clothing, ended up buying it and now displaying it on his apartment's wall with a note under it that says 'Note to self: Never let Hanna give you fashion advice. There are like $250 worth of reasons why'. Emily could imagine it was Caleb's way to tease Hanna and make her feel guilty, even though in the end, he would definitely repeat the same mistake. That boy would bend over backward to fulfill Hanna's wishes. Love, it's desperately powerful.

Spencer told them how she and her family had this trip around Europe; went to tour some campuses in England, had shopping spree in Paris, visited museums and historical monuments in Italy, and spent the last few weeks of summer catching up on her reading list and other school materials, the usual Hastings' style of rich and over-achieving. Aria, however, decided to spend her summer in Rosewood. She took up a photography and writing course at Hollis, wanting to stay close to Ezra, who had to teach a summer course at the same college.

"How about you, Em? How was Haiti?" Aria asked, giving Emily the chance to finally speak up. She was always the quiet one, the listener, the kind that wouldn't impose herself into a conversation. Emily told her friends all about her experiences in Haiti, how fulfilling it was to do something helpful for others.

Emily had seen advertisement of the program on their school info board and decided that it might be good to try something new and of course it wouldn't hurt her college application. Excitement was clear on her face as she shared with her friends on how she helped out fixing houses and schools, teaching local kids, and learning the culture there.

"As much as fun and noble it sounds, I'm sure I would die from the extreme heat. And I could never pull off being so tan like you Ems, you look so much hotter!" Hanna grinned her approval 'you look good' smile.

"Ah, what happened with the summer camp you used to go to?" Spencer asked, curious on why Emily never mentioned about it again when she could still remember how overjoyed Emily looked every time she got back from the camp.

At that question, Emily's mind wandered back to past memories. Those summers she spent doing all sort of outdoor activities, practicing her wilderness skill, meeting new people, having bonfires and….. falling for _her_.

_Emily was standing against a tree, waiting for the other girl to come. It was their usual spot, where they would meet up after sneaking out their respective cabins. At nights like this, Emily felt so peaceful, so content with life. As content as it could be for a 15-year-old girl._

_She started to remember back when she first met the girl who by then had become her first love. Emily smiled at the thought. _Yeah, I think this is how love feels. _She didn't have to wait for long as she felt a set of arms wrapped itself around her waist. She instantly felt that familiar warmth spreading out her entire body._

"_Hey beautiful, I hope you haven't waited too long."_

_Emily turned herself around, putting both of her arms around the girl's neck. Those warm brown eyes greeted her, looked at her like she was the only thing existed in the world. She felt so adored and loved. She realized how she was always lost for words every time the girl was holding her, or just doing other simple gestures like caressing her cheek, tucking strands of hair behind her ear and kissing her. Well, obviously words weren't needed when they kissed._

"_I've waited year after year to finally see you again. I think I could manage waiting for a couple of minutes." Emily responded, looking right back at the other girl's eyes, hoping she could convey the indescribable feeling she had for her. The other girl smiled her sweet smile, cupped Emily cheek with her right hand and started to lean in._

_Emily closed her eyes. It wasn't their first kiss, yet she still felt all anxious and unsure of herself. But when their lips finally touched, everything else disappeared. Once again, she got lost in her._

After all this time, even the thought of the other girl still managed to get Emily lost for words. Should she tell them the truth? The reason she didn't want to go back to the camp this past summer, or more, the actual reason why she was always so excited to go before. She never shared this significant part of her summer camp experience with her friends before because back then no one knew she was gay. And now she was out and accepted by everyone, she got nothing to tell about on this particular subject. If she opened up about it now, she would have to explain everything when she didn't even know what really happened, how the girl mysteriously disappeared, without even bothered to say goodbye to her. It was easier to lie.

"Nothing happened. I just want to try other things, gain new experiences. I'd been going to that camp since I was 12. I think I've had enough s'mores to last a lifetime." Emily shrugged, hoping her friends wouldn't see her real emotions. _And because she wasn't there anymore, _she added in her mind.

"Anyway, have you guys heard? There's a new student in Rosewood High! Supposedly she's from New York. I bet she's all fashionable, I should befriend her!" Hanna chimed in, looking all dreamy. Emily was glad for the distraction, she shifted back her focus to her friends.

"And where did you get this information from?" Spencer asked doubtfully.

Hanna opened her mouth, but before she could answer, the first bell rang.

"I think that's our cue. Emily, we have English class together right?" Aria asked expectantly.

"Yeah, we do, but I need to go to my locker first, I forgot something. I'll meet you in class. And see you guys at lunch." Emily said as she stood up.

On the way to her locker, she couldn't help but think back to what Hanna had said earlier. _New York. She's from New York. Maybe it's her. Yeah, right! What are the odds? Just move on already, Fields! _She thought to herself.

As she reached her locker, which located near the administrative office, she noticed Mr. Luca, Rosewood High principal, standing outside his office talking to a student. _Maybe that's the new girl_. She thought in passing, not really caring because she didn't want to waste anymore time and got late to her first class on her first day. She finished her business and started heading toward her class in the opposite direction of the office, when she heard her name being called. She turned around and saw that Mr. Luca was waving at her, gesturing for her to come over.

She walked over rather hesitantly, assuming that she would be asked to escorting the new girl to her class, and she would definitely be late to her own class. As she approached them, she let herself observe the girl. She was as tall as Emily, with auburn hair that reached half of her back, she was wearing a simple white t-shirt that showed off her toned arms and pale skin, she had this washed up grey skinny jeans and classic black and white converse. She couldn't help but think that the girl looked familiar, or rather, the back of the girl did. She stopped herself at arm length behind the girl.

"Is there something I could do to help, sir?" Emily asked politely, being brought up in a household influenced by the military, she was always respectful to people, especially authoritative figures.

"Miss Fields, seeing that you're still not in class, would you mind showing Miss McCullers to her first class? And if you got late to your first class, just tell your teacher that you were doing a favor for me. I'm sure they wouldn't mind. And Miss McCullers, now that you're in good hands, I'll leave you to it. Feel free to come to my office if you have further questions or concerns. And send your father my warm regards." Mr. Luca said, not missing a beat, leaving the two girls in the hallway.

Actually, Emily had stopped listening to whatever he was saying once he announced the new girl's last name. _McCullers. New York. It is her! _She felt her breath hitched. Unconsciously she looked down to her feet. Her mind got clouded with so many questions. In the corner of her eye, she saw the other girl had turned around and she could feel that she was being stared at. She dared herself to look up.

There they were. The enchanting brown eyes, and the perfect lips that had provided her with her perfect first kiss. Emily couldn't believe it at first, it was too surreal. She had spent so much time looking for her, thinking of her, and too many tears had been shed accepting the fact that she might never see her again. The other girl started to open her mouth but Emily couldn't contain her over-flowing emotions any longer. She jumped at her, hugging her tight, resting her chin on the girl's shoulder. She closed her eyes, inhaling long breaths, taking everything in, assuring herself that she wasn't dreaming. She whispered to the girl's ear, "I thought I'd never see you again." She finally found her solitude, the person who had taught her love all those years ago. At that very second, she felt at ease and whole.

But then something broke off her reverie, she realized that the other girl wasn't hugging her back. She didn't even make any movement. She just stood there, unaffected. Emily began to step back, wanting to see her face. The other girl looked at her with this confuse expression, like she was seeing an alien and trying to decide the best course of action on responding.

"Paige?" Emily finally found her voice, looking up to the girl's eyes, feeling uncertain over everything.

"I'm sorry, but I think you've mistaken me for someone else."


	2. Chapter 2 : Fragments

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Pretty Little Liars. Nor the image I used for the cover. Though I own all of these mundane words I'd managed to write in one fateful night as the aftermath of drowning myself in Paily feels from one story to another countless story. Of this I'm actually quite proud.

* * *

**Author's Note : **As I proudly told you about my Paily fanfics' addiction before, I would admit that I didn't read all the stories on this web (that doesn't make me a bad person, right?) But then I stumbled upon a story that threw me off course (I even considered deleting my story. Way to be dramatic, I know.) Therefore, I would like to point out that maybe one or two things in my story are similar with other stories that have been up way earlier than mine. But trust me when I tell you that it was mere coincidence, though it was inevitable. I mean, it's almost impossible to come up with something original these days. So bear with me.

Let's carry on to more important things. Can I just say that I was astonished by your reaction to my story? By the fact that people would find my story worthy of following. **I can't tell you how happy you've all made me!** Seriously, I'm grateful to each and every one of you. Though at the same time, I'm scared of the expectation. So I wish you guys would help me out through this process, let me know what you think. Help me grow better, so I'd able to write something that could entertain you as it does to me. I won't remind you again that this is my first story ever and English is not my native language. Oh wait, I just did... So pardon the repetitive words, I don't mean to sound redundant, I just need more time to enrich my vocabulary.

* * *

Anyway!

Del : Thanks for your review. I gotta say how I noticed your reviews on most of the stories I've read. Somehow I feel honored to be one those stories, seeing you always give constructive and positive reviews. As for your question, all I could say, one of your theories would be proven right. As the story unfolds, you'll see which one. It's not gonna be too long :)

Jaco : Thank you! As long as it's a good kind of addiction, I support you!

As for others, I believe my direct responses were enough to show my gratitude.

**AND BIG MASSIVE THANKS TO SARAH! **I can honestly say that I wouldn't be trapped in this world if it's not because of you :)

This story might seem a little dark, but you know there's always light at the end of the tunnel. So here goes...

* * *

"_I'm petrified."_

"_What makes you feel that way?"_

"_I thought time could heal all. I wanted to believe that. But I was wrong. Time has done nothing other than torturing me. As days passed, I could still hear her scream my name, and it's getting louder each time. Nothing makes sense anymore. One minute she was holding me, I felt safe the way I had always felt when I was with her. The next, I'm engulfed in this darkness. But I still remember her smile and the way she said she loved me. Even the way her fingers would stroke my hair. I could still sense her. And yet, I'm starting to lose her. How could I hold onto something that I am not even sure whether it's real or just a figment of my imagination?"_

* * *

Emily stared at empty spaces. The distant look was clear on her face. She drowned out the crowd around her. She could feel the sea of body moving close to her, yet they seemed so far away. She was trapped inside her own body, while her mind wandered aimlessly. She wanted to scream out her frustration, her confusion or anything at all.

She needed to let everything out. She was unmoved by disbelief. Was it all real? Did she just encounter her long-lost first love only to find that she doesn't even know who she is? Did she make up all of those things that happened at summer camp in her head? Was she… crazy? She shut her eyes, the recent encounter playing over in her head.

_Emily stood there unable to move, she started to speak up, but nothing came out of her mouth. She couldn't help but stare at the girl in front of her, scrutinizing every bit of her. She knew it was her. The girl looked different, unattached, but it was her. She was sure of it. Wasn't she?_

_Paige was examining the strange girl who just intruded her personal space, who hugged her as if they were old friends who hadn't met for years. One thought intruded her mind, _maybe we have met, before…, _she immediately shook her head, standing her ground, not letting herself break on her first day. She decided to speak up, hoping they could get past the awkwardness._

"_Eh… are you okay? Look, I'm sure it was just an honest mistake. So…, could we just carry on with you showing me where my first class is?" Paige trailed off, trying to catch Emily's attention. But the girl remained unresponsive. Paige scratched the back of her head, not knowing what to do._

"_You're… you're not her…" Emily stuttered out, bracing herself to accept the truth. Whatever twisted truth that she knew wasn't right. She decided to just play along with it. She needed to, for the sake of her being. She ignored the tightness she felt on her throat, pushing herself to finally look at Paige's eyes._

_Paige narrowed her eyes, trying to make sense of everything that had happened in the past five minutes. "I'm no expert, but I'm sure there's like hundreds of other Paige McCullers in the states. And maybe I bear some resemblance to the one you know, but clearly you confused me with her. Like I said, it's no big deal." Paige elaborated, overlooking how conflicted Emily was._

"_Yeah… Of course, I'm… I'm sorry." Emily mumbled her response, restraining herself from crying. _This isn't happening, _she thought. She recognized even the little things Paige would do, like the way she would shift her weight between one foot to the other when she's nervous like she was doing now. _There must be a reason for this, _but Emily came short. So she settled with something easy. "I'm Emily…" She tried to smile, extending her hand towards Paige._

_Not knowing why, Paige was relieved to see the other girl's smile. Though she knew it was a sad smile. "I'm Paige. Well... You knew that already, I guess it's true what they say about small towns, huh, news travels fast?" Paige asked, shaking the other girl's hand._

"_Umm… Yeah, I guess so." Emily nodded, not wanting to let go of her hand, basking in the fact that after all these time, Paige's hand was still her perfect fit._

_But she did let go. For now she would. "Right, so, class, let me see your schedule…"_

* * *

"Ah! There you are, Ems! We've been searching for you!" Hanna called out, sitting down next to Emily, oblivious to her friend's internal struggle.

"We've sat on the same table for the last three years, Han. _Obviously _she would be here." Spencer pointed out, putting down her tray and sitting across Emily.

"Well, duh! I was being dramatic, it adds up to the suspense of telling someone very important news." Hanna explained, unaffected by her friend's sarcasm. "So… Wait, where's Aria?"

Emily was grateful for her friends' banter, giving her time to regain her composure. She wasn't ready to tell the girls about the situation she was in. Hell, she wasn't even sure what situation that was, so what was there to tell? Pretending would be best.

"She's meeting Ezra. She said she has some questions of this essay she wrote last summer because she wants to submit it to some competition. She'll be meeting us if there's enough time left. " Emily answered, trying to sound firm, even though she was holding back tears.

"Yeah, right, like that's gonna happen." Hanna countered, smiling knowingly. Spencer smirked at the information. "So, there's something really important I need to ask you." Hanna continued, her face was practically glowing.

"What is it?" Emily responded, trying to show interest.

"You're not dating Nicole anymore, right?" Hanna enquired, wanting to confirm things before she went on.

Emily did try dating. Months after her failed attempts to seek Paige's whereabouts, she finally succumbed to her friends' insistence on setting her up. She thought it was her friends' way to show their support after Emily finally decided to come out, so as her way to thank them, she didn't argue. But that was all. She _tried_.

Deep down she knew nothing would have worked out. If she was honest, she didn't want them to work out. She longed for Paige. For the future they had panned out together. Sure she seemed naïve, maybe she was. But when you thought you had finally found the one, no matter how young you were, would you move on that easily? Could you?

"No. I told you guys, it wasn't working. We're better off as friends. And I'm kind of…." Emily didn't get to finish her sentence, Hanna's revelation was clearly so important.

"Great! Because I think I've found someone perfect for you. The new girl! Her name is Paige. I had trig with her, she seems nice and cool. Somehow I could picture you two, perfect combination!" Hanna clapped her hands in front of her chest, obviously proud with the idea she came up with.

"Hold it right there, _cupid, _how do you even know she's gay?" Spencer challenged her, arching her eyebrows.

"Well, because… She's so… bland. I mean, she's from New York and all, but her outfits are so plain, you know, skinny jeans and simple white t-shirt somewhat scream 'lesbian'." Hanna justified, tapping her index finger on her chin.

"Way to go with the stereotypes, Han. That doesn't sound offending at all." Spencer scoffed, starting to pick on her fries.

The two girls didn't notice how uncomfortable Emily was with the subject of their conversation. Hearing Paige's name was enough to make her mind go blank. She started fidgeting in her seat, hoping her friends would notice. Yet, she didn't really mind the ignorance. By now, she wished she could just disappear. Because she knew sooner or later, she would falter.

"I didn't mean it like that. Besides we all know I have a reliable gaydar." Hanna smiled proudly.

"You're not even gay, Hanna!" Spencer reprimanded, crossing her arms.

"Who's to say that only gay people could have gaydar? Is there any scientific proof to support that?" Hanna determined to make her point, beaming as she knew she had managed to trump Spencer for once.

Unable to come up with a smart, scientific proven remark, Spencer just pouted, murmured out 'like there's a science to it' and kept chewing on her fries.

"So, Emily, new girl, what do you think about her?" Hanna carried on, ignoring the grumpy girl in front of her.

Snapping out of her despondency, Emily focused on the question. _Kind, thoughtful, selfless, funny, brave, confident, beautiful… almost perfect, is that enough to answer your question?_

"She seems okay. I did get a chance to meet her earlier. Mr. Luca had asked me to show her to her first class. But really Hanna, I… _We _barely know her. And I don't feel like dating. Not now, I wanna focus on my study and swimming. No playing cupid, okay?" Emily insisted, wishing that Hanna would drop the subject. She felt her resolve was breaking. She wanted to run… No. She _needed_ to.

"Okay, _fine_! Just dismiss my brilliant idea!" Hanna threw up her hands in defeat. "But really Ems, I just don't want you to be the only one with no date at our Senior Prom."

"Hanna!" Spencer admonished, glaring at her.

"No, it's okay Spence, I understand what she was trying to say, what you guys trying to do for me. I appreciate it. I just… can't right now. I'm sorry. I… I need to go meet Coach Fulton before lunch break's over." Emily stood up abruptly, turning her body around to hide a single tear that had managed to escape. She began to walk away.

"Okay, tell me that wasn't a little odd." Hanna stated, watching Emily's retreating back.

* * *

At the end of her first day, Paige had only one last thing to do. Her dad told her that she needed to seek out Coach Fulton and ask her about the possibility of joining the swim team. It was one of the 'requirements', as her dad would say, to start fresh and get back to her normal routine. _Like I could really be normal after everything, _she pondered on.

She walked hastily toward the natatorium, yearning for the day to end. She opened up the door, spotting the small office in the corner space. She started to trudge toward it when she noticed a girl was sitting on one of the bleachers on the opposite corner. She recognized the girl immediately. _Emily_.

Against her better judgment, she turned and began to approach the girl. As she got closer, she could see that Emily's gaze was fixed to the pool. Her eyes were glistened by unshed tears. She stopped herself, doubting her decision. As she was trying to make up her mind, Emily finally looked up and saw her.

"Paige!" Emily jolted up, brushing her eyes with the back of her hand. "What are you doing here?" She asked, trying to conceal her sadness.

"I was looking for Coach Fulton. There's something I need to ask her." Paige carried on and sat next to Emily.

"You wouldn't find her here today, she rarely comes to her office on Mondays. What do you wanna know? Maybe I could help." Emily offered, determined to find out more about the girl. _Maybe then I could figure out what's really going on._

"I just wanna know if there's still a spot on the team. That's all." Paige answered offhandedly.

"Well, you could just come by for try out tomorrow. You could introduce yourself right before it starts." Emily explained, watching the way Paige was biting her bottom lip. _There it is_. "So how was your first day at Rosewood High?" Emily asked, trying to keep up the conversation.

Paige turned her gaze to her left, finally making eye contact. She couldn't explain why, but she was drawn to this girl sitting next to her. "Being the new girl wasn't as bad as I had thought. Starting out in a school where most of the students had known each other since they were kids, I didn't feel like a total outsider. Even with some prying eyes, it was still bearable." Paige replied, then one incident came up in her head and she chuckled. "Though there's this one girl in trig class who shamelessly stared at me."

"Let's see, shoulder length blond hair, blue eyes, dimpled cheeks?" Emily guessed, giving Paige a knowing look.

"Yeah, that's totally her! How did you know that?" Paige retorted.

"That's Hanna. She's a friend of mine actually. When she first heard that there's a new student and they come from New York, she was thrilled. She's into fashion, if you haven't noticed, and she assumed that you would be all glamorous and… Well, fashionable." Emily responded, shaking her head internally, _typical Hanna_.

"I must be such a disappointment to her then. I went to a private school with uniforms and all. Fashion was definitely not one of my concerns. I don't spend too much time thinking about what to wear or how I look." Paige disclosed, smiling shyly.

_That's one of the reasons I fell for you_. Emily thought to herself. She bowed her head down, recalling the first time she realized that she had fallen for Paige. Then she noticed the faint scar on Paige's left forearm, she remembered back to that day.

_Emily was gripping hard on the trunk of the tree. She tried to look down but immediately looked away and closed her eyes as she realized for the first time that she might be scared of height. She suddenly felt queasy._

"_I don't think I could do this Paige." She whimpered._

"_Of course you can, I'll help you. You trust me right?"_

_Unable to form words, Emily nodded._

"_Okay then, now I'd need you to lower your right foot. Try to reach that dent below you, it's not that far."_

_Emily tried to do what Paige had told her. Her right foot reached down, she started to shift her weight. Failing to find a firm footing, her right foot slipped. She quickly pulled her foot back up, her grip on the trunk tighten. _

"_I really can't Paige, I'm gonna fall." Emily sobbed, feeling helpless._

"_Okay, okay. Umm…, I'll run to the camp and get someone to help, okay?" Paige was running out of ideas._

"_NO! Don't… don't leave me, please." _

_Paige grew restless. It pained her to see Emily so scared. She looked up, sizing the distance between Emily and her. _It's not really that far_, Paige thought, making up her mind on her next move._

"_Em, I need you to look at me." _

_Emily hesitantly looked at Paige._

"_Okay, now. I want you to let go of your grip. Just let yourself fall…"_

"_What?! Are you crazy? I can't…"_

"_You trust me right?" Paige cut her off, trying to convince Emily._

_Emily contemplated on the idea, once again she nodded._

"_Then you know I'll catch you. I promise. I would __**never**__ let anything hurt you. I won't allow it."_

_Emily believed her. She took a really long breath. She took another second to decide and then she whispered 'okay' as she readied herself to release her grip. She closed her eyes._

"_On the count of three, okay? One… Two… Three!"_

_Emily let herself fall. She heard the loud thud, but she didn't feel any pain. As she slowly opened her eyes, she finally realized that she was literally lying on top of Paige. She saw Paige's right arm protectively circling her waist. She urgently sat up, fumbled on her feet, turning her body around to face Paige._

"_Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Emily asked, panic was evident in her voice. Emily stretched out her hand to help Paige getting up._

_Paige took her hand and pulled herself up. She remained sitting on the ground, bent her knees to her chest as she dusted the dirt on the side of her pants. Emily knelt down next to her, observing the other girl._

"_I'm okay Em, it's just…" Paige suddenly flinched as she felt a throbbing pain on her left arm._

"_You're bleeding!" Emily cried out, reaching for Paige's hand. She held her hand as she examined the wound. She could feel warm tears started to fall on her face._

"_I'm so sorry Paige. If I wasn't so stupid…"_

"_Hey, hey. Stop it…" Using her free hand, Paige lifted Emily's chin up, wiping her tears with her thumb. "I caught you, didn't I? And you're okay. That's all that matters to me." _

_Paige was looking at her intently. Sincerity was clear in her eyes and her smile. Right in that moment, Emily knew._

"_And think about the scar I'd get. It would be so awesome! I could parade it around and tell everyone how I saved you!" Paige joked, attempting to lighten up the mood._

_Emily fell harder._

"Emily? Hey…" Paige shook Emily's shoulder, trying to catch her attention.

"What? Oh…, I'm sorry." Emily looked up, felt slightly embarrassed for drifting off. "I was just wondering… What happened there?" Emily pointed at Paige's scar, expecting Paige to tell her what she knew had happened.

Paige lifted up her left arm, "What? This? Well, it was…."

Paige scrunched her eyebrows, struggling to remember what happened. She couldn't. _What caused this? When did I get this? Think Paige, think! _After a minute, her body started to tremble. Her breath started to shorten. Her vision was getting blurry as her eyes fixated on one spot on the ground. She sensed an obtrusive pull taking over. Her breathing got ragged, her head was pounding. _No, no. Not now. _She clenched her jaw, trying hard to maintain control.

Seeing Paige's condition, Emily began to worry. At loss of what was going on, she slowly reached out her hand to Paige's arm. As she made contact, Paige jumped up from her seat. Everything happened so fast. Before Emily could process anything, Paige already ran toward the door, without looking back. Unaware of the distress girl she had left behind.

"Paige!" Emily screamed out, but the other girl was already gone.


	3. Chapter 3 : Revelations

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Pretty Little Liars. Nor the image I used for the cover. Though I own all of these mundane words I'd managed to write in one fateful night as the aftermath of drowning myself in Paily feels from one story to another countless story. Of this I'm actually quite proud.

* * *

**Author's Note : **I do notice that this chapter is much longer than previous ones I've put up before. My head is a jumble mess of ideas but lacks of order, something I've been working on since I started this story. Hope you manage to finish this before you die out of boredom. For the 58 people who have stuck by me so far, I could only offer you my humble writing and endless appreciation. And you can keep sending me your constructive reviews.

Del : Thank you for the thorough review, really appreciate it! One thing though, look closely, the first flashback dialogue, was it of Emily or Paige? :)

Rice and Guest : You asked for it! Hope you enjoy! :)

As for others, I hope my direct responses were enough to show my gratitude.

Ah! For those who actually read A/N, in previous chapter I mentioned a girl named Sarah, this is her Tumblr **pllfan03**. There you could find a list she made of Paily FanFics that totally worth your time. Hey, that list got me into this mess in the first place

P.S. : have you all read the latest update of Locum Tenens? It broke my heart. I could honestly say I know how it feels being someone's shadow. Especially when someone you loved kept comparing you with their ex'. *Oh wait, over-sharing *Control yourself, Dev!

Back to business...

* * *

"_So, what can you tell me about her?"_

"_What do you want to know?"_

"_Anything you could think of."_

"_She's… everything."_

* * *

Paige pedaled harder than she ever did. She ignored the burning sensation creeping into her legs. Her heart was beating rapidly. She wouldn't be surprised if it somehow bursts out of her chest. Paige couldn't see the road clearly, her vision got blurred by the tears she refused to let fall, but that didn't bother her. She could feel the familiar darkness already threatened to swallow her whole, it wouldn't make any different. She passed the town square, noticing children running around on the playground; an old couple walking together hand in hand; teenagers crossing the street, laughing, clearly enjoying the simple fact that they were young and happy, that they still had a long road ahead of them, full of hopes and promises. It was all too much to take.

Paige pedaled faster as she finally turned to her street. Catching sight of her house, the empty driveway somehow relieved her. She knew she couldn't face anyone right now. She couldn't stand their questioning eyes and worrisome looks. As if she was a wounded run-over animal they had found on the side of the street. But indeed she was, wounded. She jumped off her bike, trashing it hard to the ground. She quickly ran to the front door, rummaging her backpack to find her keys, her wobbling fingers didn't help with the matter. She yelled out her quiet frustration. Failing to find her set of keys, she decided to use the spare key her dad had put under one of the pots on their front porch. She carelessly opened the door. Once she got in, she closed it and then leaned her back on it, looking for much needed support. The intrusive force was spreading even more. She screamed angrily, hugging herself tightly. She ran toward her room upstairs.

When she finally got inside her room, she slammed the door shut. She stood against it, both hands pushed hard on the piece of wood. She let her head hung between them. The reverberation of her action echoed around the house. But she didn't care. She couldn't even hear a thing. The voices in her head were too much, deafening her senses. She lifted up her right hand, starting to punch hard on the door. She hit repeatedly until she felt just the right amount of pain. _Find something that would ground you_, _what you know is strong enough to pull yourself back. _She laughed internally, recalling those words. If only they knew, pain was her solitude.

The punching came to a halt as she gained back control. The pain was real; she dared to look up, lifting up her right hand. She stretched out her right knuckle, seeing red marks that she was sure gonna develop into dark bruises. Something that would remind her of the struggle she had. The battle she had lost yet again. She replayed everything in her head. _They were all real._ She took several deep breaths before she turned herself around. She promptly glanced over to her desk, her gaze settled on a photo frame. She walked toward it warily. She stood rigidly before her study table, her eyes focusing more to the photo and the smiling faces on it. She took the frame in her hand, picking it up. As she was staring at it, her tears started to fall, leaving teardrops on the surface. She began to tremble uncontrollably. She let out all the emotions she had bottled up for the day. A new day that she had promised herself would be different, better. Unable to keep up her fight, she collapsed to the floor. Hugging the frame tight to her chest, she whispered, "I'm sorry." Curling her body up into a fetal position, she cried silently until darkness of sleep came over her.

* * *

Emily looked down at her plate, picking on food that didn't seem too enticing at the time. She was having dinner with her mom, something that usually got her all excited. With school, swimming, working part-time job at The Brew, and of course being a typical teenager who rather hangs out with her friends any chance she gets, she was hardly home for dinner. But that night, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't bring herself to care about anything else other than her misery of feeling at lost.

"Is everything okay, honey?" Pam asked, slightly concerned with the way her daughter had been acting ever since she got home.

"I'm fine Mom." Emily gave her a weak smile.

"If you say so…" Pam said, before continuing, "I know I may not have the best track record when it comes to being a dependable parent when you need one. But I'm here now." Pam assured her daughter, reaching out her hand on the dining table to hold Emily's.

"I know Mom and I'm thankful for it. I'm just… confused right now, about something that I can't really tell you 'coz I am still trying to figure it out." Emily explained, feeling bad that her mom was still treating her cautiously. As if she was afraid that Emily would despise her after the way she acted when Emily first came out.

"Well, have you talked about it with the girls? Maybe they can help." Pam suggested.

Emily shook her head, "No, I don't think they can do anything to help me right now. It's complicated. Can we just not talk about it now? _Please?_" Emily implored.

"I understand. But for now, could you please eat your dinner?"

Emily nodded, giving into her mom's request; giving into whatever fate has in store for her.

* * *

_July 2008_

_Emily sat down by herself on the shore, her gaze fell upon the vast lake in front of her. She was hugging her knees close to her chest, trying to find comfort. The first time her dad suggested for her to go to summer camp, she was ecstatic. But soon she found out that it was her parents way to ease her into the fact that her dad was assigned another contract and soon going to be drafted again. The night she learned about the news, she locked herself in her room, refused to talk and asked to be left alone. She cried herself to sleep. When the day finally came to go to camp, she begged to stay home, wishing to spend more time with her dad before he would finally depart in the next two days. As caring and thoughtful her dad was, he was also quite stern. He reminded Emily the importance of commitment and integrity, he told her, "When you decide to do something, then you go through and do it. Give the best you could offer, give your heart out. Nothing good would ever come up from doing things halfheartedly."_

_So, there she was, respecting her own decision and learning to be a person of integrity. She sighed, resting her chin on her knees. Her eyes began to water. She scolded herself for being a cry baby. She brushed her eyes with the back of her hand, determined not to be sad anymore. She looked up to the sky, sending out her prayers, wishing for her father's safety and for him to come home soon. Satisfied with her resolve, she stood up, dusting the back of her pants from sand. When she was about to walk away, something caught her eye. She noticed someone was swimming in the lake. There was something enchanting about the way this girl moved effortlessly in the water. Emily decided to sit back down and admired her. Then she realized that the girl was swimming to her direction, she looked away instantly, afraid that she had been caught staring._

_Once Paige emerged to the surface, she quickly made her way to a spot where she left her towel. She dried herself then wrapped the towel around her body. She glanced up; sighting the girl who she knew was watching her. She offered a smile and when the girl returned her smile, she got encouraged to introduce herself. She strode along the shore, observing the girl; she realized she had never seen her before. Paige had been coming to the same summer camp ever since she was 10, so she knew everyone. This fact intrigued her more to find out about this unfamiliar girl._

_Seeing Paige approaching her, Emily hastily stood up; straighten out her clothes when there was really nothing wrong with them. She was nervous, it was too obvious. She went over things to say, how she would introduce herself, how she would start a conversation. Back then Emily didn't know that thinking too much would only add to her anxiety, so when she saw that the girl was close enough to her, she practically shouted out, "HI!"_

_To say that she was surprised would be an understatement, but Paige looked past it and she chalked it up as something amusing. Emily amused her. Once she got in front of Emily, she stood still, waiting for the other girl to look at her. When she saw those mesmerizing brown eyes looking back at her, her breath hitched. Paige was sure she had never seen someone as beautiful as Emily. She braced herself and started to speak up._

"_HI!" Paige shouted out confidently._

_Emily jumped slightly, clearly shocked by how loud it was. She was confused but then she feared that the other girl was mocking her for the way she greeted her earlier in the same manner. She stayed silent._

"_Obviously you're new here, since I've never seen you around before. But I gotta say I'm impressed that you've managed to crack a very important code so soon. You see, that was __**exactly **__how we would greet fellow campers. We need to show passion!" Paige joked, lifting up a fist as a dramatic effect. "Congratulation, you finally found where you belong!"_

_Emily instantly cracked at that, finding the other girl so peculiarly funny. She was laughing so hard, she felt a single tear dropping from the corner of her eye. She brushed it off and she slowly felt calmness washed over her. She remained silent but she gained the courage to really look at Paige's eyes._

"_Ah… smile and laughter suit you better indeed." Paige smiled, stretching her hand out to Emily. "I'm Paige McCullers."_

_Emily took her hand in hers, "Hi, Paige. I'm Emily… Um, Emily Fields."_

"_It's really nice to meet you, Emily 'Um Emily' Fields."_

* * *

Emily walked down the hallway toward her locker, as her gaze was fixed to the floor. She was still trying to process everything, coming up with a lot of different scenarios in her head of what could have been, of reasonable explanations as why Paige was not _her _Paige anymore. That's what she was doing all night, tossed and turned in her bed while sleep deluded her. _Maybe she has a twin sister I don't know about? _Emily cringed at that, realizing how absurd that sounded. _There's no way a twin sister would have the same name and the same scar on the exact same spot._ _Or maybe…, _she couldn't bring herself to think of the possibility of Paige getting hurt so bad that she would suffer from something that obviously impairs her memory. She quickly dismissed the idea, though deep down she knew, it was the only reasonable explanation.

She continued on her tracks but something stopped her. As she looked up toward the direction of her locker, she saw Paige was standing in front of a locker that was adjacent to hers, only separated by two lockers in between them. _Great, seriously?! Like yesterday's event wasn't enough to build up awkwardness between us. _Emily carefully took several more steps toward the girl. From the corner of her eye, Paige saw that someone was approaching her; she decided to glance over to her left. She discovered Emily already stood close to her.

"Hey." Emily greeted quietly, looking anywhere but Paige's eyes.

"Hey." Paige responded tentatively, shifting her weight between her legs.

Emily sighed, suddenly regretted her decision to come up to Paige as she was now losing her courage to actually speak and clear things between them. She fidgeted uncomfortably, hands clutching to the strap of her shoulder bag. She remained silent for another minute, hoping that Paige would be the one who breach on the subject at hand, whatever that was.

Paige took that as her cue; she knew she had to fix things between them. She couldn't explain why but even though she barely knew the girl, she wanted to try and be friends with her. She had that certain feeling in her gut about Emily, something that she refused to overlook. When she woke up this morning, she made a decision. She had determined to conquer her demons yet again, or at least try and neglect them. She realized avoidance was not the solution. But for now, as she was starting over in a town where no one knows anything about her, she could easily pretend that she was okay. She would put on her mask and hope that no one could see her through.

"Look, Emily…." Paige started as she was closing her locker, then turned her gaze back to Emily, desperation was apparent on her face, "I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I can't really explain it to you…. I don't know if you've noticed but I am like socially awkward, meeting new people freak me out! You wouldn't believe how many times I have panic attacks over it." Paige said lightly, a smile was forming in the corner of her lips.

It took a while for Emily to process what Paige had told her, but then she recognized the mischievous grin growing on Paige's lips. Emily couldn't help but laugh at Paige's attempt to downplay what really happened. _That dry sense of humor is one of the things I love about you._

"Thank God you laughed at that!" Paige exclaimed, laughing nervously. She then shoved her hands on her jeans pocket, looking slightly embarrassed, waiting for Emily's comeback to her lame effort to break the ice.

The laughter finally died down as Emily took another step closer to Paige, bracing herself to look into her eyes. Paige was looking right back at her. At that very moment, they felt connected with each other. Paige felt that she could bare her soul to Emily, because one thing she could see in the other girl's eyes was compassion.

"With all seriousness though, what happened yesterday, it's… something that I've been dealing with and I think the pressure of first day of school was getting to me and…." Paige trailed off, brushing the back of her head.

"It's okay; you don't have to explain if you don't want to." Emily retorted, giving Paige a reassuring smile.

"Really? Well… cool! So, can we just start over?" Paige sighed in relief, tilting her head to the side as she waited for Emily's response.

"I'd love that." Emily agreed, grinning ear to ear.

Paige blushed at that, automatically dipped her head down, in attempt to hide how nervous she really was. _What's wrong with you McCullers?! A pretty girl smile at you and you just turned into a nervous wreck_. She shook her head internally. She stayed that way until she realized that Emily was stretching out a hand toward her. Slightly confused with the gesture, she arched her eyebrows.

"Hi! I'm Emily Fields." Emily offered her, smiling genuinely.

Catching up with her intention, Paige took her hand and said, "Hi, Emily. I'm Paige… Paige McCullers."

"It's really nice to meet you, Paige 'Paige' McCullers."

* * *

The four girls occupied their usual spot at the cafeteria. The loud chattering around didn't stop them to be engrossed in their own conversations. Then again, other students tend to judge them as exclusive, having and living their own little world. Indeed, the group felt like they live in a bubble of comfort, having to know each other ever since they were little. In a way, it could all seem perfect. If only the other kids knew how imperfect it really was, especially when Hanna decides to bring out her teasing side much to her friends' annoyance.

"So, guess what I witnessed this morning!" Hanna started, grinning suggestively.

Emily had a feeling Hanna would bring up her conversation with Paige earlier this morning. Leave it to Hanna to be in the right place at the right time to witness something that's worthy of gossip.

"What, Hanna?" Aria asked curiously.

"I saw _someone _was talking to _someone, _and they were being all cute and chummy!" Hanna squealed, practically jumping up and down in her seat.

"We're not being cute and _chummy_, Hanna! We were just talking." Emily countered, brushing her hair back, trying to slow down her fast beating heart, hearing Hanna referred to them as 'cute and chummy' obviously got to her.

"Yeah you were talking and then you were holding hands." Hanna teased, seeing Emily got all anxious only fueled her more.

"We were _not _holding hands, it was a simple handshake!" Emily practically yelled out, annoyed with the teasing, frustrated with how she did hope that she could hold Paige's hand.

"Oh do you handshake mid-air? 'Cause I'm kind of sure that when you do a handshake, you _hold_ each other's hand."

Emily just shook her head, sighing in defeat. She wrapped her arms in front of her chest as she sat back.

"Wait, wait. Could someone fill me up with what's going on?" Aria asked, clearly confused.

Spencer took that chance to finally speak up; explaining things to people is always in her nature. "Hanna was referring to Emily and the new girl, Paige. Yesterday she came up with the silly idea that Emily should pursue her when she couldn't even confirm yet that Paige is actually gay. I guess now she has come to the conclusion that she was right, though she based that on a simple gesture. Surely that handshake was oozing chemistry and sparks in Hanna's eyes." Spencer elaborated sarcastically.

"You can mock all you want, but in the end, when it comes to the matters of the heart, I'm always right. You'll see."

"Can we please talk about something else?" Emily begged, hoping that they would leave her non-existent love life alone.

"Okay. I was actually wondering if you guys wanna come over to my house to watch a movie. It's been a while since we last had a girl's night. We could just go straight after school." Aria suggested, looking over her friends to see their reactions.

Emily flinched at that, assuming that her response would only encourage Hanna to tease her more.

"I can't go straight after school…." Emily said silently.

"I thought you said Coach Fulton moved the tryout to Thursday?" Spencer remarked.

"Um… yeah. But I already made plans with Paige. We're going over to her house…."

"SEE! What did I tell you! The new girl moves fast, wow!" Hanna smirked proudly.

"To _study_, Hanna! We are going to study! We had social science together and Mrs. Simmons paired us up together for a project. A presentation we need to work on fast because it's due on Friday." Emily immediately defended herself.

"Well you could have a side project, one that involves kissing and snuggling and getting all hot and bothered…."

"Hanna!" Spencer and Aria shouted in unison.

_Just great_, Emily thought. If she wasn't nervous about coming over to Paige's house before, she is now. So much for starting over.

* * *

Emily pulled her car on the side of the street in front of Paige's house. Earlier she waited for Paige in front of her locker and then they walked side by side to the parking lot. The drive was filled with comfortable silence. The girls couldn't loosen up entirely around each other but that didn't bother them. They had agreed to start over and they knew the awkwardness wouldn't last long. As Emily turned off ignition, she glanced over to quickly examine Paige's house and noticed how empty it seemed.

"There's no one home?" Emily asked.

"Nah, still at work. I'm usually home alone until night comes." Paige answered coolly.

They both alighted from the car, directly made their way inside the house. Once they got in, Paige escorted Emily to the living room and asked her to wait there while she would go to the kitchen to grab refreshment and snacks to accompany their study session. Left alone in the living room, Emily took the chance to observe her surroundings. She got up from the couch and started to admire some paintings on one side of the wall. She then strolled around until she stood in front of the fireplace. Photo frames set above it caught her eyes.

She examined each photo carefully. They were of Paige and her family. The first photo was of Paige; Emily assumed she was 6 or 7 at the time. Paige was lifting up a trophy, she was wearing a soccer uniform and grinning proudly. It was cute. The second and third was of Paige and her parents. The fourth was of a young woman holding a baby close to her chest, looking at her with so much love. Emily picked it up, wanting to look at it closer. _Paige definitely looks a lot like her mom._

Drowning in her admiration of the photograph, Emily didn't realize that someone had opened the front door and walked into the house. The next thing she heard was someone clearing their throat. Emily turned herself around and saw this middle aged man standing on the doorway. A man who was obviously Paige's dad as she remembered him from one of the picture she examined not so long ago. She hastily put the frame back in its place, straightened out her hair and clothes and turned around once more. She quickly made her way to greet Paige's dad.

"Hello Mr. McCullers, I'm…."

"Emily Fields. I know who you are."


	4. Chapter 4 : Fruition

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Pretty Little Liars. Nor the image I used for the cover. Though I own all of these mundane words I'd managed to write in one fateful night as the aftermath of drowning myself in Paily feels from one story to another countless story. Of this I'm actually quite proud.

* * *

**Author's Note : **Okay, I think I've broken a record here, this chapter ended up longer than I expected, hope you don't mind. And I do feel like it's lacking of something, I thought hard about it but I came short. That's where you come in! Constructive reviews are expected and will be much appreciated. As I slowly find my groove in writing, I think I would be able to update this story every 3-4 days, just a heads up. And again, the response I got so far still put me in disbelief. Thank you so much for putting up with me!

Del : I think now and then, most of us have struggled through the same 'urge'. It was real for me too, thank you for sharing it with me. This chapter will give you a hint of Paige's condition! I hope it's enough for now :)

Guest and Guest : Here it is! I'm sorry that my 'soon' is not soon enough for you...

As for others, I hope my direct responses were enough to show my gratitude. And I really appreciate how talkative and encouraging all of you are. It's nice to know that I could maybe talk or discuss my story with you.

And the story goes...

* * *

_Paige was going in and out of consciousness. She could hear voices around her, talking things she couldn't fathom. She heard all the mumbled sounds of people shuffled around her, the constant beeping close to her ear. She felt heaviness in her head, like someone pushed it so hard against cold hard tiles. "We've managed to release some pressure…. The damage to her medial temporal lobe was…. She'd still need to undergo another surgery when she finally stabilizes…." She heard a familiar voice in the conversation, she heard her dad, and he sounded tired and upset. Nothing made sense to her. She ordered herself to wake up, to open her eyes. She needed to know what was happening to her. But she felt so light, so powerless. There was no battle left in her. The thought of giving up crossed her mind and she was terrified by it. _

_Then she heard her mom's soothing voice, "Paige, it's going to be okay."_

_Knowing she was safe, she drifted back to sleep._

* * *

It took a while for Emily to process everything, to actually understand what Paige's dad had just said. Emily couldn't. She knew one thing for sure; as nobody in her life had ever found out about her past relationship with Paige, the same goes to Paige's family. They did talk about coming out to their family and friends. At the time Paige was more than ready, she really wanted to tell her parents about Emily, she wanted to show them how happy she was and she needed them to know the reason behind her happiness. Paige expected her mom would be supportive of her, though she knew her dad would be an entirely different story. But she was willing to take that chance. Emily encouraged her to do it, but she wasn't ready herself so she asked for Paige's understanding, hoping she could be more patient. Paige understood and never pressured her. She assured Emily that what they shared was real and precious; keeping it as a secret wouldn't change the fact that they were in love. Paige believed in her; she believed in them.

As far as she knew, Paige never went through with it. If she had, Emily would obviously be the first person to know. She was definitely sure about it until she realized that she had lost contact with the girl for more than a year. After that realization hit her, she didn't know what to think, uncertainty has been the story of her life these days, much to her dismay. She needed answers; she had to figure out what was really going on. Getting past her shock, Emily took a deep breath, cleared her throat and spoke up, or really, tentatively whispered her question to the man standing in front of her.

"How…." But she didn't get to finish, both of their heads turned toward the hallway as they heard footsteps approaching. They both knew Paige was coming into the room. Before she managed to fully redirect her attention to Nick, she saw the man started to move and then stopped his track; he quickly turned his gaze toward Emily again.

"I would like to speak to you about Paige, if it's possible." Nick said firmly.

Even though their interaction was short-lived, Emily could finally understand why Paige had described her dad as 'stiff and distant', it was evident in the way he carried himself, the way he spoke to her, the tone of his voice. But she also didn't miss something that she didn't expect to see in the man's eyes, fragility. Emily didn't even get the chance to utter a single syllable as a response when Paige was finally in sight. She could see that Paige wasn't expecting to see her dad so early in the day. She watched their interaction, as Paige greeted his dad in a formal manner with a tight smile on her face. She then saw Nick starting to walk away as Paige continued to make her way to Emily. Without Paige knowing, Nick glanced over his shoulder to look back, his look made it obvious that he was waiting for an answer, and Emily gave him a small nod of agreement.

* * *

"So, I think we've done enough for now, we've got the introduction, the historical background and discussion, I think we just need to focus on preparing the presentation, maybe we could finish it tomorrow after school?" Paige suggested, scrambling through papers on the coffee table.

"I can't tomorrow. I have a shift at The Brew… How about after the tryout on Thursday? You're still doing it, right?" Emily asked full of hope, expecting to spend more time with Paige.

"I know you're team captain and all but you don't have to sound so eager." Emily blushed at that. "But yeah, I think so. I kinda miss it, the feeling of ease. Whenever I'm in the water, I feel like I could just shut off the world around me and just be. I haven't gotten a lot of chance to swim ever since I got home-schooled last year." Paige responded, unconsciously shared more than she had intended.

"I thought you said you went to a private school?" _Even if you didn't tell me earlier, I remember it clearly. You even sent me photo of you in your uniform one time. _

"Uh…" Paige felt like she was caught lying, even though she didn't. She contemplated on what to say, not really ready to tell Emily things about herself. She settled on something easy, the truth. She figured she didn't have to say much, she just needed to answer a simple question. "Yeah, I did. But then on my junior year it was decided that it would be in my best intention to be home-schooled." Paige explained, hoping Emily would not question about it any further.

Emily could see Paige got all anxious when the topic came up. She just got a fresh start with the girl; she didn't want to jeopardize her second chance by prying on sensitive topics that might lead Paige to push her away. So she let it slide, nodding at Paige as a way of saying 'Oh, I see' then she began to gather her things. She watched as Paige gathered up their glasses and scrunched the plastic bag that was filled with chips earlier on before they started their study session, and then she noticed her bruised knuckle. _How did I miss that before? _Unconsciously, Emily held her hand out and took Paige's in hers, and she brushed her thumb over the bruises lightly. It was always her automatic response, as if it was reflex, for her to tend to Paige's wound.

The sudden contact paralyzed Paige; her first instinct was to pull her hand away. But strangely she didn't want to. She felt... safe. When she gazed upon Emily's face, she could see clearly how genuinely concerned she was. She let her guard down just a little, just for a moment of weakness to seep through. She savored in how warm and soft Emily's touch was, and she couldn't help but feel how easy and natural it was, for Emily to hold her hand and comfort her. A memory played out in her head, she couldn't help but smile at how much Emily reminded her of her mom. She hoped that moment would never end but it did, as Emily abruptly retracted her hand away, realizing how she had, once again, intruded Paige's personal space.

"I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't even think…" Emily looked away, worried that her action had upset the other girl.

Paige was disappointed at the loss of contact. But she quickly gathered herself. "It's okay, really. It did startle me, but who could complain when a beautiful girl want to hold your hand?" Paige teased, hoping to break the tension that was instantly built around them. She then realized how flirtatious she sounded; she feared that she had made the situation even worse. She started to open her mouth, wanting to correct herself. But when she saw a shy smile was formed on Emily's lips, she relaxed a bit, thinking that maybe Emily did take it as a joke and nothing more, just the way she intended it to be. Right?

"Very smooth, McCullers," Emily chuckled, but then her expression got serious again, "so… What happened to your hand?"

Paige was ready to get all defensive; she was ready to tell Emily how it was none of her business. She was ready to put her wall back on. But then she cursed herself inwardly for getting upset easily, she remembered the promise she had made to herself. A fresh start where she could just be _normal _again; a normal person wouldn't feel attacked by the question. A normal person would be glad that someone cares about them, enough to ask about their well-being. So she decided to be normal, to answer the question…_dishonestly_. Paige knew it's not right but she got to start somewhere.

"Ah, I fell off my bike. I wasn't paying attention. I never thought the street of Rosewood could be so dangerous. There was this big rock came out of nowhere and got in the way of my front tire and sadly, the rock won the battle." Paige sighed dramatically, looking down in defeat. She found it easier to bring out her goofy side, to just joke around as a way of protecting herself. And it didn't hurt that Emily seemed to get her humor.

Emily giggled, shaking her head, "you know, Paige, if there's a comedy club in our school, I would encourage you to join that instead of the swim team. You're funny…"

"I know, right? I've been working on that for quite some time. If all fails, I need to have a back up career. A broke stand-up comedian doesn't sound too bad, does it?" Paige smirked, arching her eyebrows mischievously.

"No, it doesn't, I'll be in the front row every time." Emily smiled, reveling in the feel of falling once again.

At that moment, Paige decided that she loved the way Emily smiles and she loved it even more knowing that she caused that smile. She felt a rush inside her, like a shot of adrenaline had coursed through her body. Yet, at the same time she welcomed this unknown contentment, like somehow everything in her life is right again. So, she told herself to give in and she smiled back, hoping that someday she would be ready to feel again. They looked at each other for a while, basking in how comfortable it was being close to each other.

The two girls were oblivious to the fact that Nick was standing close in the next room, listening on their conversation, observing how Emily's presence affected her daughter. He could hear the excitement in Paige's voice, he could imagine the smile plastered on her face. He dared himself to believe that maybe, just maybe, Paige could be happy again. As he decided to walk away, he smiled to himself, thinking that for once he has done something right for Paige.

* * *

_February 2012_

_Emily rushed down the stairs after she heard her mom calling to tell her that a package had arrived for her. She immediately went to the kitchen to find her mom. She saw her mom standing by the stove as she did a quick scan of the room. She spotted a small box on the counter. She grinned widely, too wide as she could feel her cheeks starting to hurt. She dashed toward it like there was no tomorrow. She grabbed it and instantly turned back to the direction of her room. Before Pam could actually catch on her daughter, asking who sent the package, Emily already ran upstairs, shouting out, "Thanks, Mom!" Pam shook her head and smiled understandingly._

_Emily eagerly got inside her room; locked the door and sat on her bed. She took her phone from her bedside table and started to type._

The package is here! Skype? :) -Em

_She anxiously waited for a reply but then she heard a beeping sound coming from her laptop. She hurriedly walked toward her desk, sat down and opened up her laptop. In less than a minute, her beautiful girlfriend filled the screen._

"_Hey beautiful," Paige started, "You seem… eager." Paige smirked teasingly._

"_I'm not even going to respond to that. I'm too excited. You're ready?" Emily asked enthusiastically._

_Paige lifted up a box, showing it to the camera, "As ready as I'll ever be. Do you want me to open mine first?"_

_Emily nodded vehemently. As she watched Paige starting to open the gift, she was unconsciously tapping her foot to the floor. Her mind began to fill with doubts, fearing that Paige wouldn't like it or that it wasn't good enough or it couldn't compare to what Paige had sent her. Suddenly she regretted her suggestion to exchange hand-made gifts for Valentine's Day. Paige's voice brought her back to reality. As she gazed upon her screen once more, she saw that Paige was already wearing the turquoise scarf around her neck._

"_Em! I love this! Wow, it must have taken you forever to knit this." Paige exclaimed, admiring how soft and neat the scarf was. When she got to one end of it, she found a small heart sewed with a golden thread. She couldn't help but laugh. "I know you're like obsessed with Gossip Girl, but I didn't think you would go as far as imitating Blair Waldorf."_

_Emily blushed, giving Paige a shy smile, "I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. You don't like it?"_

_Paige shook her head. "I love it, Em, even more. This is like the most thoughtful gift I've ever gotten. I'd be sure to wear this all the time! Now open yours."_

_Emily picked up the small box in front of her, shook it a bit and heard how it rattled. She arched her eyebrows curiously and Paige gave her a smile in return, encouraging her to find out for herself. Emily continued to pull on the bow tied around it and carefully open the box. Inside it she found a notebook, its cover was made from brown leather, in the right bottom corner she saw Paige's name carved into it. She looked up again at her girlfriend with questioning look. Paige gave her a small nod as if telling her to open the book._

_Emily opened it and saw that on the first page there was a rough sketch of her face. She began to smile, she always loved how artistic Paige was, and then on the next page, she saw a passage written neatly. She began to read it. She turned one page after another, what she found written there over-whelmed her. She looked up to see that Paige was looking back at her keenly, somehow she seemed nervous._

"_Paige…" Emily started, her eyes welling up with tears._

"_It's one of my journals. The one I began to write in right after I realized that I was falling hard for you. The first passage I wrote there was inspired by that night we spent staring at the sky and for the first time you let me hold your hand as you were shivering from the cold. And sometimes I would write song lyrics or quotes or famous poetry that remind me of you. Open the last page, Em." _

_Emily did as she told, she found yet another passage. She started to read it, whispered it out, the next thing she knew, Paige was reciting it to her._

_I fall without knowing; beyond reasons and understanding_

_Your smile lights up my darkest days_

_Your gaze wakes me up from my unreachable dreams_

_And I close my eyes, certain that you would catch me_

_I feel without doubting; how the rest of the world disappears_

_As your warm embrace caresses my soul_

_Your voice sings to me stories of our tomorrow_

_Seconds, minutes, or even years, it would be only you and me_

_I see without pretenses; how treacherous our paths ahead_

_You will be my guiding light, my northern star_

_I will be your strength; I will carry you in my heart_

_With you, beside you, lost I will never be_

_I love without perfection; as you see through all of me_

_Faces of deception will no longer be_

_Flawed is what we are, with scars and wounds of the past_

_But complete… is what you've made me._

_Emily couldn't hold back her tears anymore as she started to cry. She reached out her hand to touch the screen, hoping that she could caress Paige's cheek. It still amazed her how Paige was able to make her feel like the distance between them didn't exist. The way Paige looked at her with so much love and adoration, the way Paige talked to her, and with the way Paige smiled at her sincerely. She could actually feel her close as she knew Paige had filled that once empty space in her heart and there she would stay forever._

"_I love you, Emily Fields."_

* * *

Emily walked through the hallways with an extra bounce on her step this morning. She had been waiting for Thursday to arrive for she knew she would see Paige. The day before, she didn't get any chance to interact with the other girl, they didn't share any of the classes, only a quick glance and small waves were exchanged between them, and she had to go straight to the Brew after school ended. She did contemplate on texting Paige, now that she had her number thanks to the social science project they had to work on together. But she didn't want to seem clingy so she decided against it. This morning though, she gave into temptation. She texted Paige 'I hope you're ready for tryout today, it's gonna be fun!' and Paige sent her a reply saying, 'I can't wait! Then we're gonna have fun with our project :) ' Needless to say, Emily was happy knowing that Paige might be as excited as she was for the day ahead of them.

As she sat in her last class, she wished she had gotten there sooner, because then she might be able to sit next to Paige, who was sitting in a seat located diagonally a couple of rows in front of her. But soon she realized that the situation wasn't too bad as she got to watch her without the other girl acknowledging. She observed the little things Paige would do; how her eyebrows would scrunch up when she got confused, how she blew away strand of hairs from her face, how she would slip the bottom of her pen between her lips, _lucky pen_. Emily smiled to herself, thinking that she could spend a lifetime watching Paige, and wouldn't get bored.

As much as she hoped that it was only the two of them existed in the world, she soon found out that wasn't the case as she felt a slight nudge on her elbow. Much to her annoyance for the disturbance, she glanced to her left, greeted by Hanna smiling knowingly and giving her a pointed look toward her desk. There Emily found a folded piece of paper. She sighed as she knew what's coming; she opened the paper and read it. 'I didn't know that Paige's back could help you absorb the materials better, some new technique you learned over your _study _session? ;)' Emily scrunched up the little paper and rolled her eyes to Hanna.

When the bell finally rang, Emily hurriedly gathered up her things and put them inside her bag as she saw Paige already walked toward the exit. She said her quick goodbye to Hanna, telling her that she needed to go to the natatorium as soon as possible. She quickly ran outside of the class, too quickly as she was about to hit Paige who was standing next to the door.

"Paige! Sorry, I didn't see you. I thought you already made your way to the natatorium." Emily said almost breathlessly.

"That's okay. I was actually waiting for you. Walk with me?" Paige asked, smiling nervously.

Emily grinned sweetly, "Sure. Let's go then. It's time to show your worth as a potential shark!"

Paige laughed then she started to walk, leading their way as Emily was a step behind her. Paige glanced over her shoulder, with a small nod gesturing Emily to walk beside her. Emily complied earnestly and she couldn't help but hope that someday she could walk the hallway side by side with Paige holding her hand.

* * *

"Let's hit the shower, girls!" Coach Fulton shouted out while making her way to Paige who was still stood by the edge of the pool. "You did great out there, McCullers, we're lucky to have you. Welcome to the team! Regular practice will start next week, every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. And if you have any question, you could just come by to my office or maybe Fields could help you with it."

Paige offered her a smile, nodded, then politely asked, "Is it okay if swim some more laps? It's just been a while since I last swam…"

"Sure. Don't over-trained though. I'll leave you to it then." Coach Fulton warned as she made her way to her office, gripping her clipboard close to her chest.

Paige let out a long breath, her gaze back at the pool in front of her, ready to get back in. But then in the corner of her eye she noticed someone walking toward her, she turned her head and instantly smiled as she saw who it was. Emily was making her way to Paige as she thought of things to say, ways to congratulate her without sounding too awkward.

"Hey Captain!" Paige greeted her teasingly.

"That's right, now that you're part of the team, I'm officially your superior, and you need to obey me." Emily responded with a fake stern voice.

"Aye, aye, Captain!" Paige saluted her. The two girls broke into laughter.

"Anyway, I was wondering, how about this time we work on that project at my house? I could give you a ride home after that. And before you say anything, it wouldn't be a bother. I know you might think it's convenient to just do it at your house since your bike is still not fixed yet. But, of course if you mind then we could just…" Emily rambled nervously.

"Emily, Emily, relax. It's okay; let's go to your house. But I did want to swim a couple more laps, if it's okay with you. You don't mind waiting a bit? I swear I'll be quick in the shower." Paige asked.

Emily smiled and nodded, "Sure, I'll go ahead then. I will wait for you here later on."

As Emily started to walk away, Paige jumped into the water. Hearing the sound of the water splashed behind her, Emily turned her body around and stood there for a while, watching the way Paige moved through the water. A feeling of deja vu crept inside her. The girl in the water was still _her _Paige, many things had changed, a lot of questions were still unanswered, but Emily knew if she could be patient, if she braced herself to wait, someday Paige will come back to her. She needed to believe that to hold on and in a way, move on from the past.

* * *

After Emily got out of the shower, she realized that she was the only one left in the locker room. She did take her time as she didn't want Paige to feel bad if she ended up waiting for too long. She went over to her locker as she wondered where Paige was. She assumed that the other girl would be there with her, having just finished showering but Paige was no where in sight. _Maybe she is that quick. _She was now worried that Paige was the one who had to wait for her. She urgently put on her clothes, brushed her still damp hair, gathered up her things and then made her way out the locker room. As she pushed the double door, she made a quick scan at the row of bleachers in front of her, wishing that she would find Paige sitting there waiting for her. But she didn't. She looked around the large space, wondering if Paige might be waiting outside by her car. When her gaze fell toward the row of bleachers near the exit, she finally found Paige… lying unconsciously on the floor.

"Paige!" Emily screamed out, running frantically toward the girl.


	5. Chapter 5 : Iridescent

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Pretty Little Liars. Nor the image I used for the cover. Though I own all of these mundane words I'd managed to write in one fateful night as the aftermath of drowning myself in Paily feels from one story to another countless story, especially Locum Tenens. Of this I'm actually quite proud.

* * *

**Author's Note : **Here it is! And it is super long, I know. You might get bored, I've warned you. I got carried away on explaining things without really telling you everything. I know it might not what you all wish for, but I think this chapter is necessary, I could finally transition to what's more important, the growing relationship between Emily and Paige.

Samj : Thank you! It's always nice to hear someone enjoy my story...

Guest : Hope this is enough for now :)

As for others, I hope my direct responses were enough to show my gratitude. And I really appreciate how talkative and encouraging all of you are. It's nice to know that I could maybe talk or discuss my story with you.

P.S. : I know, what am I thinking updating my story on the same day of Locum Tenens' update? And have you all read it? It is EPIC! Totally worth the wait! Ah, to answer that first question myself, I'm being a person of integrity. I did say I'm gonna update every 3-4 days.

Moving on...

* * *

"_I got to say, you seem different today."_

"_You think so? Yeah, I guess I feel different."_

"_I could tell something is different, especially when you smile like that. Do you want to tell me what makes you feel this way?"_

"_Well, it all started with a girl…"_

* * *

Emily sat rigidly in the waiting room, her hands clenched hard on the side of her seat. Waiting was the worse thing, not knowing what was going on, not knowing whether Paige was okay, not knowing anything at all; she started to get sick of it. She groaned inwardly, frustrated with the whole situation. Mostly, she was frustrated by the fact that no one could help her out. She got nobody to turn to right now and she was scared. Finding Paige lying unconscious on the floor was the most terrifying experience she ever had, nothing ever prepared her to face such predicament. There was blood gushing out of Paige's forehead, she was so pale and… lifeless. Definitely not the way Emily remembered her.

Emily sat back, leaned her head on the wall, trying to hold back tears. She knew it wasn't time for her to break down; she needed to be strong, to hold on just a little bit longer. She hastily stood up and started pacing back and forth. She really wished she could have her friends there, they always know how to comfort her. But then how would she answer all of their questions, how could she satisfy their curiosity when she couldn't even comprehend anything herself. She shook her head, reprimanding herself for thinking on what _she _wanted and needed when she was supposed to worry about Paige. Nothing she was going through compared to what happened to Paige, she was physically hurt. And it pained Emily more than anything.

As her mind wandered off, she heard people approaching her. She turned her head and saw that Paige's dad was walking toward her, still engrossed in a conversation with the doctor who handled Paige's case. They stopped their tracks a couple of feet away from her and all she wanted to do were to rush over to them and demand them to tell her about Paige's condition. But she didn't, she stood still in her spot and watched them from afar. She saw Nick nodding a couple of times, taking in all the doctor had to say. He looked tired and scared; something that definitely didn't suit the image she had in mind of him. She watched as Nick shook the doctor's hand and gave him a weak smile. She fully turned her body toward where Nick was standing. She hugged herself, trying to find comfort, waiting for him to look up and see her. He did and after he let out a long breath, he made her way to Emily.

* * *

Emily and Nick sat together in silence; Nick stared out at the space in front of him, holding a cup of coffee in his hands while Emily waited patiently. She almost missed it but she noticed how Nick's hands trembled slightly. She knew that as much as it was hard for her, it must be harder for Nick so she didn't rush him to tell her everything; she didn't throw him all of the questions she had wanted to ask. She then heard Nick cleared his throat and sat back, slowly turned his gaze toward her.

"Thank you for calling me, Ms. Fields." Nick started monotonously, "I'm grateful that Paige wasn't alone when all of this happened…"

Emily nodded, "Of course Sir. Is she… okay?"

Nick swallowed a lump on his throat before he answered her. "She will be okay. They just want to keep her overnight for observation. Have you contacted your parents? Don't make them worry." Nick knew all about being a worrisome parent. He wouldn't even wish the things he had to endure to his worst enemy.

"I told my mom where I am. She's currently in Texas with my dad, she left this morning. But I assured her everything is okay. Did they find out what is wrong?" Emily asked cautiously.

"Other than the cut on her forehead, she is fine. There's no concussion or other injuries…"

"…but?" Emily could feel that Nick was trailing off; she could feel that he was hesitant to tell her more.

Nick sighed; he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, Ms. Fields, this is not how I wanted to tell you everything but I guess, there's no better time. I might as well tell you now."

Emily fully turned her attention to the man sitting next to her. She could feel her heart beating rapidly, her head pounding. Answers, explanations, reasons, all of the things she had needed for quite some time, she might get them now. She told herself to calm down, to prepare for whatever's coming. She could see that Nick was contemplating what to say or how to explain everything. She was afraid that he would change his mind so she spoke up, "Sir…?"

"It's not the first time things like this happened to Paige. She is physically fine but… she's going through something; I'm sure you've noticed."

"What happened to her? Why can't she… remember me?" Emily couldn't help but be selfish; she really needed to know why Paige didn't seem to know her at all. As if they never met, as if their story was never written.

Nick clenched his jaw, as if the question hit a nerve. He took his time, figuring out what to say. "It's just simply because she can't. Part of her long term memory has been impaired by the head injury she got from the accident. Everything that linked to that night… have been wiped out somehow."

Emily's eyes widened, suddenly she felt like she was gasping for air. Deep down she knew, she guessed, but still she was hoping it wasn't true. Everything was coming together, why she couldn't reach Paige for more than a year, why the girl never tried to explain or say goodbye. Everything made sense, and yet didn't seem real at all. She stared wide-eyes at Nick; still waiting for more answers to her questions… she didn't even remember what she wanted to ask anymore. She tried to find her voice but to no avail. '_That night', but what I got to do with it? _Emily thought to herself, trying to put together the pieces of puzzle she had. Nick's voice snapped her out of her trance.

"That night, we were fighting and…" Nick choked between words, the memory pained him physically "…after the tragedy, she was in a coma for a week, when she finally woke up she didn't remember what happened. The doctor said it was to be expected; that her memory might recover with time. When she found out what happened, that's when she got her first panic attack…" Nick sighed; everything that happened had taken a toll on him.

"Several weeks after that, we learned that she couldn't remember some events that had happened in her life, she didn't remember some of her friends who visited her at the hospital. Some of them would tell her stories to cheer her up, things that happened on their last winter break together, it just upset her; because she had no recollection of them ever happened… She began to push people away, she put on these walls. At first we thought she just needed time and we had no other choice than give it. We tried not to push her. She was physically there, but I could see that my daughter was starting to disappear…"

Nick took several deep breaths before he continued. His eyes were glued to the floor, as if he was concentrating hard to recall everything. "When we took her home, she saw this photo on the living room, it was of a family vacation we did a couple of years ago. It triggered something and she had another panic attack. I rushed her into the hospital. After series of reviews, she was admitted to the psychiatry ward. They deemed that she would need therapies, to help her deal with what happened. Her struggle is internal, emotional."

Emily listened attentively, absorb all the information she could get. Until one question slipped out of her mouth, "When did it happened, sir?"

"March 18th 2012." Nick said stoically.

She was right, she already made her own calculation; the day before that was the day she had her last interaction with Paige, which was when….

Nick turned his gaze back to the distraught girl sitting next to him. "I can see that this must be a lot to take in for you Ms. Fields. It hasn't been easy for us, for her especially. She tried to live her normal life, she got back to school. But it was all too much; sometimes she would have seizures, people thought she was epileptic. That's how severe her panic attacks could be. I assume that's what happened with her today." Nick explained, spotting the look on Emily's face.

"That's why she got home-schooled…" Emily concluded.

Nick nodded. "At that time I thought it was the best option and so she could focus on healing herself…."

"But why can't you just tell her what she wanted to know? If she struggles because she can't remember, why can't we just tell her everything?" Emily interrupted, something she rarely did, but she couldn't just let things go. She _wanted _Paige to remember her, and then maybe everything would be okay again.

"In cases like these, we can't just tell her what happened. Because she had repressed those things so deep, it wouldn't make any sense to her. Just because we tell her, she won't see it as something true, because it's not her truth. She would feel betrayed by herself, that she needs other people to tell her about her life. That's what her therapist told us. So we stopped trying to do so and hoped that in time she would get better. Some memories have come back, but they're not significant enough for her, she still feels like something is missing."

Emily finally remembered the most important question she had, the thing that had left her curious ever since she met Nick the other day. "Then, how do you know me?" Emily asked expectantly.

Nick looked at her for a moment, convincing himself that he was doing the right thing; that he needed Emily's help. "When we realized that Paige could easily be triggered, one night I came back to our apartment when she was still treated at the hospital. I thought I needed to at least hide some stuff scattered around the place, photos and such. When I searched her closet, I found a wooden box. I don't normally invade her privacy, but I need to be sure. When I opened it, I found letters, photos, some of her journals, her sketch book, this wooden craft and other stuff, they were all of you or from you. That's when I first knew who you were… and what you were to her."

Emily gasped; she found it hard to believe that Paige's parents had to find out about her, about them, this way. It was clearly not something she was expecting to happen. "So… You know… that she's gay? That I…"

Nick averted his eyes from Emily, as much as he had accepted what happened; finding out the truth about his daughter, it was still hard for him to fully grasp what it meant. He still doesn't understand, but he wants to try to. "That's why we moved here. I was lost; I was running out of ways to help my daughter. And living there has proved to be a constant battle for her. I thought moving to a small town would do her good and maybe… you could help her."

Emily looked down, her grip on her seat getting tighter. She felt a sting in her eyes, a stomp on her heart. "But… she doesn't even remember me, how can I help her with anything?"

Nick's response was immediate, he could see it then, he knew nothing about this girl sitting before him, but he could see how much she cared for his daughter. "Just like the way you helped her tonight. You were there for her when I couldn't. Back in New York, it's like she didn't even try, or maybe she couldn't, and her friends… they finally gave up. She was all alone and I could see how much it actually hurt her; she thought no one cared for her enough to stick around. And I know I'm not enough. I want her to have someone, someone who cares, someone she could trust and you… you loved my daughter." Nick choked out that last sentence.

It hit Emily harder, hearing someone else say it for the first time. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. No one knew, _no one_ would understand how much she loved Paige. Sometimes it's even hard for her to take in how someone she met when she was so young could be the one person she wants to be with forever. Emily knew it was naïve; she realized they might grow into different people someday, but she wanted that, she wants to grow with Paige, together. And more than anything, Paige had wanted the same thing. "I still do… love her. I never stopped." Emily professed, letting out a part of her no one ever thought existed. She looked up with teary eyes, gazing upon Nick's eyes with conviction, hoping she could show how she really meant it.

"I know." Nick turned Emily's gaze, a small smile tugged in the corner of his lips. "And that is exactly why I need your help. Could you please try and be there for her? It's not going to be easy, but…"

"I'm not going anywhere, Sir." Emily cut him mid-sentence, a new determination coursed through her.

Nick nodded; relief was clear in his face. He started to speak again when someone called him. Both of them turned their attention to the doctor who was already standing close.

"Mr. McCullers, your daughter is awake. You could see her now. But she would still need her rest; she needs to take it slow for tonight."

"Thank you, Doctor." Nick said as he stood up.

As the doctor walked away, Nick turned his attention back to Emily, who was already on her feet, facing him. "Ms. Fields, I know you want to see her too, but based on my experience, it would be too over-whelming for her." Nick assured.

"I understand Sir. I'll just go home. She's okay, that's all that matter for me. But could you please tell her that I was here? That I do care and I would contact her later…"

"I'd be sure to do that. And I hope this conversation remains between us only, for Paige's sake, I'm sure it's best. Take care now, Ms. Fields." Nick started to walk to the direction of Paige's room and Emily stood still in her spot, watching his retreating back. The next thing she knew, right before she stepped her feet in the opposite direction, Nick called her out, glancing back over his shoulder, "And you can call me Nick, Ms. Fields."

"Emily."

After they exchanged one last look and smile, they turned around, back to their respective destinations. They both finally felt like things would only get better from that moment on.

* * *

It was Sunday morning when Emily stirred in her bed; the sound of her phone ringing by her bedside table had awakened her. She groaned at the intrusion and reached out her hand to grab her phone. She answered it with a grumpy hello.

"Wow, easy there, Ems." Hanna quipped.

"What do you want Han? It's still early and it's a Sunday, how can you be awake on a Sunday morning? There must be something wrong." Emily responded sarcastically.

"Ha…ha…ha…very funny, Em! But you might wanna check the time; it's like past 11 already so there must be something wrong with _you_ instead." Hanna pointed out mockingly.

"What?!" Emily jumped out of her bed, looking at the alarm clock on her bedside table. It showed that it was already 11:17. "I can't believe I overslept!"

"Yeah me neither, I'm supposed to be the lazy one, what happened to your ethics as an athlete, you didn't go for you morning run! Think about what how it will affect your time in the water!" Hanna teased.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Emily started to make her way downstairs, as much as she didn't want to eat, she could actually hear her stomach growled. She hasn't eaten right since Friday, worrying about how Paige was; she really can't keep her mind off of her.

"Em, what's going on? I'm starting to worry. I feel like there's something that's been bothering you lately. You've been distant ever since school started, you refused to hang out with us yesterday and I get that you need to finish that project but still, I feel like there's something more to it. You know we're here, you can tell me or any one of us if there's something on your mind." Hanna reminded her, Emily could hear how sincere Hanna sounded. As much as Hanna liked to tease her and being all clueless and silly, Hanna could be so insightful and sensitive at time. This time was no different; Emily knew she couldn't lie to Hanna, because Hanna knows her better than anyone else. Well, Paige used to be the one who knew her better even than she knew herself. But, now…

Emily sat down on one of the chairs in her kitchen counter before she gave her answer. She propped one of her elbows on the counter, her fingers massaging her temple. "I know Han, and I'm thankful for that. I just… can't tell you yet. I'll let you guys know later, I promise. And I'm sorry if I've made you worry. Thank you though, you're the best Han." Emily smiled, even though Hanna couldn't see it but she was just so grateful for having supportive friends.

"Okay, fine. I'll let you go easy this time. Just because you finally realize and admit how amazing I am!" Emily chuckled lightly at that, feeling a little bit better. "I just miss hanging out with you. We all do. So, I was actually calling to tell you that since we never had that movie night at Aria's on Tuesday, we think of having a sleep over instead tonight at Spencer's. What do you say?" Hanna's voice was so cheerful and enthusiast, Emily couldn't resist the offer. She thought maybe she needed it to distract her, maybe she could tell her friends about Paige, as much as she was 'allowed' to say anyway, she knew it is not her place to reveal all of Paige's secrets.

"A sleepover sounds fun, Han. So, we'll meet at Spencer's place?" Emily replied, genuinely felt excited for the plan.

"Yes! Be there at 5! I can't wait! This is gonna be so fun!" Hanna responded excitingly.

"I'll meet you there. Bye, Han."

Emily ended the call, tossed her phone on the counter. She thought about texting Paige again. She had tried to contact the girl several times ever since Friday morning; asking if she was already released from the hospital, asking about her condition and wishing that she already felt better. Later on the day she texted Paige again to tell her that Mrs. Simmons had given them extension on their project considering what had happened to Paige and that she didn't mind finishing the presentation herself so they could be ready for Tuesday. Several hours after that Emily texted again telling Paige how she hoped she could at least tell her that she was okay. Later that night, she gave up waiting for Paige's response; she assumed Paige just needed her rest and that when she had the time she would get back to her. So she texted one last time before she turned in early, though sleep hasn't been her friend these past two nights. Saturday came and she still didn't get any response from Paige, she thought of coming over to her house but then she remembered how it might over-whelm Paige, so she gave up on that idea too.

Emily decided to just let it go for now as she stood up and started to walk to her fridge to grab some milk. She took a bowl and a box of cereal from one of the cabinets and she put down all of them on the counter. She picked up the milk jug, ready to pour it into the bowl when she heard a knock on her front door. She warily walked toward the door, confused as to who would come to her house on a Sunday. She knew it wouldn't be her friends, or maybe it was, maybe they just wanted to surprise her. As she reached her front door, she looked down at herself and decided she was appropriate enough to welcome whoever it was at her door. She opened her door slowly and gasped as she saw who was standing there on her porch.

"Paige!"

"Hey…" Paige greeted, smiling faintly. She shoved both of her hands deeply in her jeans pockets as she looked at Emily but then looked down nervously.

Getting over her shock after a minute, Emily started to speak up. "I'm sorry, come in, come in." Emily offered as she moved over to the side to let Paige in. Paige got in her house and stopped her track as she waited for Emily to close the door.

After she closed the door, Emily hesitantly turned around to face Paige. It was clear to her that Paige was also as nervous as she was. So they just stood there in an awkward silence, not really sure what to say. Paige's gaze fixed on the floor while Emily tried to read her and hoped that Paige would look up and talk to her. Seeing that it wasn't going to happen soon, she decided to be the one who break the silence.

"So… How are you, Paige? I was worried about you." Emily started, brushing her upper left arm to calm herself.

"I'm fine, thanks. Um… I'm sorry that I didn't reply to your texts. I just needed to rest." Paige answered, meeting Emily's eyes.

"It's okay. I get it. I'm just glad that you feel better now." Emily smiled genuinely, trying to resist the urge to hold Paige in her arms, hugging her and telling her that she cares for her. "So, what are you doing here?"

Paige studied the girl in front of her, seeing that she was still in her pajamas, looking so laid back, on a Sunday, realization hit her, "Oh gosh, I'm sorry, I should have called or texted first to make sure that I could come over. I didn't mean to intrude…." Paige trailed, growing more nervous, rubbing the back of her head.

"Paige, it's okay. I don't mind. It came out wrong. And I just wonder how you managed to find my place."

Paige got slightly flustered at the question; she began to shift her weight from one foot to another, "Eh… I walked around town and asked people on the street. I just assumed that it's gonna be that easy, being in a small town and all. But it wasn't, people could give you false information or be so vague on giving you directions, I actually got lost several times before I got here." Paige smiled shyly, dipped her head lower, trying to hide her embarrassment.

Emily thought it was cute; she chuckled at Paige's story. "You really should just ask me directly."

"I know, lesson learned." Paige looked up, smirking. "So… I came here because I actually wanna talk, after everything that's happened and I don't think it's appropriate to do it over text or phone call." Paige's expression suddenly got serious.

Emily gulped, she didn't expect for Paige to come to her house and wanting to talk. Assumptions running through her head on things that Paige might actually want to tell her. _What if it's something bad? What if she wants me to stay away from her? _She calmed herself down. "Sure, but let's just move this to the living room." She said, leading Paige to the direction to her living room.

She gestured Paige to sit down on the couch, Paige complied and sat down on the farthest side of the couch. Emily remained standing up, asking Paige if she would like something to drink. When Paige shook her head, Emily slowly sat down on the other side of the couch. She wrung her hands between her knees while waiting patiently for Paige to speak up.

"Thank you, Emily." Paige started, looking right at the girl, "for helping me that night. For calling the ambulance and my father, I can't imagine how it was for you. I'm sorry if I scared you."

"Don't mention it, Paige, really. Knowing that you're okay now is enough for me." Emily replied, studying Paige's face, seeing how this conversation actually made her uncomfortable.

"My father said he was glad that you were there with me. He said you two talked a bit. Did he… tell you something?" Paige continued, she wanted to find out how much her father had told Emily about her.

"No, not really…" Emily lied, she didn't want to but she remembered what Nick had asked of her. "He just asked me what happened and I told him what I knew. So… what really happened?" Emily asked cautiously, hoping Paige wouldn't get defensive on her.

Paige let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, she cleared her throat, trying to ignore the need to run out the room and just hide. But she had spent days and nights contemplating on this, on what she wanted to tell Emily, on how much she could tell Emily for now, on how she hopes that Emily would still stick around.

"Remember that day I told you a joke about me getting these panic attacks? Well, I wasn't entirely joking. Sometimes when I got all anxious, it could be… too much. Last Thursday when I was waiting for you, I remembered something and I started to feel uneasy about it. I tried to push the thought away but it didn't work. I actually just wanted to get away at that time, so I ran toward the exit. I guess maybe I slipped or something, I don't really remember." Paige explained, giving Emily half-truth, she couldn't find it in herself to bear everything to her, as much as she actually wants to.

Emily nodded, telling Paige that she got her full attention. She knew Paige needs to take things slow, she knew she has to be more patient with Paige and she would. She is gonna wait for however long Paige needs to actually open up to her. "Does it happen often, Paige?" Emily asked worriedly.

"Well, yeah." Paige answered quickly, biting her lips.

Emily scooted closer to Paige as she watched if her movement would startle the girl. She wanted to hold Paige's hand in hers, but decided against it. "Paige, I know that it's not much and we barely know each other. But I'm here, whenever you want to talk, about everything at all. I am your friend." Emily said softly, wishing that Paige knows that she is not alone.

"I know… This whole moving to a new place, it scared me actually. Starting over seems nice but still I… it's too much to process. At first I didn't understand my dad's decision but I just went along with it. Then when I found out that I would no longer be home-schooled, I got excited but anxious at the same time. I was determined to just finish my last year of high school here, I mean, it's gonna be less than a year and then I would take off to wherever school I choose later. So I didn't think I need to make friends. What's the use of it when I'm gonna leave again anyway? But then I met you and you just changed everything." Paige stopped, wanting to see Emily's reaction on everything she had said so far.

Emily listened intently; her gaze was fixed at Paige. She noticed how Paige needed some kind of reassurance to go on, so she smiled and nodded slightly.

"I didn't expect to meet someone here who makes me feel like… everything is gonna be okay, you know? You make it easy for me to just be normal, to talk and do normal stuff. I know that sounds weird but that's how I feel. I left behind many things when we moved here, but I still brought along my issues and it's not easy to get rid of them. That's one of the reasons I thought it was better to just stay away from people. At the very least, I would get to know some, interact with them on daily basis, but I know it's just gonna be on the surface. I'm rambling right now, I'm sorry…" Paige looked away, fearing that she had scared Emily with her confession, thinking that she would not want to have anything to do with her after everything.

Emily could see how hard it was for Paige to talk about herself, she could see in the way Paige moved that she was about to close off again, Emily definitely didn't want that to happen, she wanted to assure Paige that she's not going anywhere and that Paige doesn't need to hide from her. She reached out her hand to touch Paige, she carefully put her palm on Paige's forearm. She could feel Paige's body jerked up at the contact but she was relieved that Paige didn't try to move away.

"Paige, could you please look at me?" Emily begged. Paige slowly looked back at the girl sitting next to her. "Just talk to me. I'm not judging or anything. I'm here for you."

"But that's just it Emily, that's what scares me." Paige uttered out softly. "Why would you? I don't understand. It's obvious that I'm…troubled, but you still here. I know now that you're genuinely nice, kind and thoughtful, that's just who you are. I just think I got lucky. But I know how it wouldn't last long. At least that what happened before, when you see how broken I really am, you'd just walk away. And I wouldn't blame you. Still I want to be selfish, to be hopeful, as I finally realize what scares me the most." Paige elaborated, looking right at Emily's eyes.

"What is it? You can tell me." Emily reassured her, giving Paige a light squeeze on her hand.

"It scares me how… I need you."


	6. Chapter 6 : Conviction

**Disclaimer :**I do not own Pretty Little Liars. Nor the image I used for the cover. Though I own all of these mundane words I'd managed to write in one fateful night as the aftermath of drowning myself in Paily feels from one story to another countless story, especially Locum Tenens. Of this I'm actually quite proud.

* * *

**Author's Note : **Hello there fellow human on earth! I hope you are all doing well. Okay, I would like to point out how slow-paced this story seems, at least that is the way I intended on writing it. I want the built up between Emily and Paige to be believable, you know? If they just jumped into a relationship, it wouldn't seem right, considering how intense their past was. So bear with me, it's not like I'm gonna write one chapter to represent one day of their lives, I would end up with hundreds of chapter, it would be too much. The pace of the story will grow quicker after this but not rushed. Ah, and of course, any constructive reviews are welcomed and appreciated!

Del : Nice to see your review again. I guess the maintenance going on a couple of weeks back could be at blame for you missing on chapter 4,hehehe. And yeah, I really want to make Nick the good guy here, I'm happy that I managed to pull that off. And all I could say is that their relationship will only grow stronger from here...

Guest : I like that you like my story, thank you! :)

As for others, I hope my direct responses were enough to show my gratitude. And I really appreciate how talkative and encouraging all of you are. It's nice to know that I could maybe talk or discuss my story with you.

P.S. : And you! Yeah, you know who you are! I can't believe what you did…. With that said, thanks again for the shout out :)

Moving along now…

* * *

"_So, tell me about what happened today."_

"_You know all about what happened."_

"_Yeah, but not from you, I want to know how you feel about it."_

"_How I feel? How do you think I feel?! Everything feels wrong. It's like I'm living a lie; I want to try and act normal, getting back to who I was before. But how could I do that if I can't even remember the person I was before all of this?"_

"_Then maybe don't question that. If you can't remember who you were, work on what you have today, what you know about yourself. How you really are wouldn't just fade so easily. It's something innate, you might not remember certain things, but you wouldn't forget who you really are."_

"_But what if I do want to forget every single thing? What if I just want to disappear?"_

* * *

_I need you_. That sentence had been playing over and over again in Emily's head. She wasn't quite sure if Paige had meant it the way she wanted her to or maybe she just said it as something totally platonic. And Emily didn't dare to question it. Why would she? Paige didn't just say that she wanted Emily around; she said that she _needed _Emily in her life. It was enough for Emily. It gave her hope and sense of relief. She got even more determined than before. She told herself that she was going to be there for Paige, no matter what the cost, even if it means constant teasing from Hanna.

"Helloooo, earth to Emily! Report back, Emily Fields!"

Hanna's loud voice snapped her out of her thought. "Uh, what? Sorry…"

"What's going on Em? You've been so distracted lately." Aria chimed in, picking on her fruit salad.

"Oh I know what's going on, I'll give you a hint; it starts with P. Followed by A, I, G. And ends with…." Hanna teased relentlessly, noticing how flustered Emily got by the second.

"Okay, okay! I think everyone got your point, Han!" Emily exclaimed, getting irritated by the teasing.

"Whoa, calm down Em. You know you could just ignore that malignant presence over there. If you pretend that you don't see her, she will not bother you again." Spencer quipped with a pointed look toward Hanna.

"Ha…ha…ha… Like anyone could really ignore my presence. You could try but you know you couldn't deny me for too long. I am _that _irresistible!" Hanna countered proudly.

"Yeah tell that to Caleb because I'm sure that once or twice he pretty much whined on how high maintenance you are to Toby." Spencer snorted smugly.

"He did not!"

"He did too!"

"He did not!"

"Guys, guys, would you please stop your childish banter and focus on the matter at hand here?" Aria interjected, gesturing to their friend who was clearly too invested in her own world.

"Right, sorry. So, Emily, what's going on? I mean I do notice that you've been acting different lately. Last night you were there, you laughed along and stuff, but you weren't really present. And I don't think it's a bad thing because you looked… contented somehow. I never see you like this before." Spencer noted, giving Emily a curious look.

"Well… I don't know where I should I begin. It's about… Paige…" Emily started, fidgeting bashfully.

"See! What did I…"

"Hanna!" Spencer and Aria glared at her. Hanna quickly shut her mouth.

Emily was grateful for the interference, she finally thought that she could tell her friends about Paige and she had to do it soon before she lost her courage again. "I wanted to tell you guys last night, but I was still processing everything. This last past week I got to know her more and I'm drawn to her somehow. And after that unfortunate incident, I can't help but worry about her. She actually came to my house yesterday and we talked about it. I just couldn't bring myself to tell you what's going on between me and her because I wasn't sure myself. But yeah…I do feel a connection with her, instantly, and I can't explain how or why."

_Well I could, but that would be a story for a different time. _Emily felt like it was best for her and Paige to just keep that part of the past from her best friends, she didn't want them to know and then act strangely around Paige. She deemed that Paige should really have a new start, where people don't know anything about her.

"Aww… It's cute Ems, you're crushing hard on her." Hanna said cheerfully, with a playful grin.

"Even though I don't share the same intensity of fascination toward your love life like Cupid over there, I am glad that you finally show an interest in someone." Spencer gave her two cents before she took a sip of her water.

"So, do you plan on telling her?" Aria asked in amusement.

"Well, no… Not yet, I mean I'd rather wait and see how she feels about me. Right now I could tell that she's comfortable with me but I don't want to jump into conclusions and then ruin the chance of building a friendship with her if it turns out she's not interested in me in that way…" Emily reasoned, she cringed internally at the thought that she could only have Paige as her friend and nothing more.

"Maybe you could offer to her to sit with us at lunch next time, so we could also get to know her better and assess the situation for you." Aria suggested.

"Yeah, I think that'd be great. You guys don't mind right?" Emily asked, looking over at Hanna and Spencer.

"Of course not, and I do need to make sure if the rumor were true, people said she is some sort of a genius, she had like the perfect GPA in her old school and seeing she was enrolled in a prestigious private school, I'd really need to quench my curiosity." Spencer affirmed, as she sat back and folded her arms in front of her chest. A proud smile was plastered on her face.

"Uh oh. Maybe sitting with us wouldn't be a good idea, Em." Aria quickly muttered out.

"Yeah, Spence, she is not as competitive as you are. Trust me. And I want her to like me remember? You'd make it harder if you glare at her with that challenging look." Emily huffed.

"Don't worry Ems, I'll tame her down in no time. And I think Paige is an idiot if she passes the chance to be with you. You're like a total hottie, if I weren't with Caleb, and oh so straight, I'd tap that." Hanna pointed out with a suggestive smile.

"Well you're saying that just proved that you're not oh so straight, Hanna." Spencer challenged sarcastically.

"Whatever. All I'm saying is, you, Emily Fields, are a catch. Make the new girl sees that and I'm sure she'd be head over heel for you in no time." Hanna shrugged, and then gave Emily's hand a light squeeze of encouragement.

Emily chuckled at how positive Hanna was. "I understand, and I'm flattered. Thank you, Han."

* * *

Emily was walking toward her locker when she noticed something was hanging on the outside of it. As she came closer, she realized it was a small greeting card. She took it off and examined it closer, on the left side she found a tiny block of chocolate wrapped in a clear plastic attached to the card. On the right side she saw a familiar writing, "To make sure that you won't bail on me today ;)" Emily instantly smiled. She did kind of freak out on Paige the day before when they finished the project together; public speaking is not really her strong suit. She was too focused on the card and didn't realize that Paige was already standing behind her.

"Cheesy, eh?" Paige said with a small smile, her hands of course shoved into her jeans pocket.

Emily immediately turned her body around, a little bit startled. "Paige! I didn't notice you standing there. Hey…" Emily's smile grew wider. "No, it's not cheesy; it's sweet of you to give me chocolate."

"Correction, it is dark chocolate. It's supposed to help calm your nerves. It contains L-tryptophan, the neurotransmitter responsible for relaxing the brain. There are other options, like spinach, whey, Brazil nuts, sweet potato, herbal green tea, but I figured they are not too efficient to give to you now." Paige explained in a very cute serious manner.

"Oh, okay, thank you for that piece of information. I'll keep than in mind whenever I feel nervous. You could be like my mini Google, you know?" Emily teased, amused by how informative Paige was. But then again, it wasn't a surprise, Paige loved to read, she always had many random interesting trivia up in her sleeve. Emily used to love to hear Paige telling her a lot of different stuff when they were lying on the meadow, staring at the night sky.

Paige bowed her head down, realizing how nerdy she must have sounded. She blushed lightly. She couldn't help it; sometimes she said things out loud without even thinking first. She found a lot of stuff to be interesting, so she wanted other people to share that interest. But maybe she needed to be more careful on doing that. She really didn't want Emily to think that she was weird. Oh well, _weirder_, now that she already showed how she needed to work on some personal issues. Emily didn't need another reason to reconsider their growing friendship.

Emily sensed Paige's nervousness; she then slowly reached out her hand and put it softly on Paige's right upper arm, causing Paige to look up and meet Emily's gaze. She could feel the touch make her heart thumped on her chest and the way Emily was looking at her; it was something she couldn't describe. She wanted to get lost in those deep brown eyes and just drown herself in how warm they seemed.

"I really mean it, thank you. Nobody ever did sweet stuff like this for me." Emily assured her sincerely. _Well you used to, all the time. How did I get so lucky?_

"Well I can't risk it. So, it's my pleasure." Paige said with a sweet smile.

"Ah, my friends told me yesterday that they would love for you to sit with us at lunch. What do you say?" Emily asked expectantly.

"Um… Maybe, but not today though, I have to meet up with Mr. Phillips for the assignment I missed last Friday. But, are you sure it's okay? I don't want to impose… And what if your friends don't like me…" Paige trailed off, obviously the thought of hanging out with Emily's friends made her even more nervous. She really wanted to spend time with Emily but she was afraid that her friends wouldn't approve of her.

With her hand still on Paige's arm, Emily gave a light squeeze. "Don't worry; usually they'd like the person I like." Emily convinced Paige, unconsciously said more that she intended.

Once she realized what she had said and the implication behind it, Emily started to blush, but her gaze lingered at how bewildered Paige was upon hearing her statement. Emily started to speak again but the moment was interrupted when the two girls heard the first period bell rang throughout the hallways. Emily sighed as she took away her hand from Paige's arm, knowing that they had to part soon. Paige shared the disappointment as she straightened up her posture before speaking up again.

"So, I'll see you at social science then?"

Emily nodded, smiling genuinely. "I can't wait."

Paige slowly back up as she gave Emily a small awkward wave. "Uh, okay. Later, Em…mily." Paige caught on quick, feeling that she needed to correct herself. _It's too soon to be calling her with a nickname, don't rush it._ But she couldn't deny how natural it was, like she had said the word so many times before. She then turned around and started walking toward her class.

Emily did notice the slip up and she couldn't help but revel in how nice it was for Paige to call her with her nickname again. As she watched Paige retreating back, she grew confident that someday soon things between them would be like the way it used to.

* * *

_July 2008_

"_Guys, guys, listen up. This is Emily Fields. I found her stranded by the lake. So…I called dibs!" Paige joked as she introduced Emily to her group of friends who were sitting in a small circle close to the location where they would have a bonfire later that evening to welcome all the campers. Near the shore Emily could see some of the camp supervisors setting up the woods and stuff._

_Emily smiled shyly and nudged Paige on her side for that joke she made. As Paige guided her to sit in one of the empty spots, the others greeted her in unison 'Hi, Emily!' Paige sat down near a boy who gave her an enthusiastic high five and Emily quickly sat besides her, noticing how the group consist of kids her age and they all talked to each other like they were old friends. Even Paige was already engrossed in a conversation with the boy. She couldn't help but feel like she was an outsider, something she never felt before._

_But Paige noticed how silent Emily got, she playfully nudged Emily's elbow and smiled at her. "Don't worry, you'd feel at home in no time. Most of us have been going to this camp ever since we were 9 so everybody knows everybody. But, you just wait in 5…4…3…2…1…" _

_Emily was clearly confused with what was the countdown all about but she didn't get to dwell in it when she heard someone calling her name. She looked up and found that the girl sitting across of her was looking at her; she offered a small smile before speaking up. "…yeah?"_

"_So where are you from?" The girl asked, while the others suddenly put Emily in the spotlight._

"_Eh…" Emily was stunned by the attention and then she heard Paige whispered to her. "See, you'll blend in no time, they are a curious bunch."_

_With a reassuring look from Paige, Emily finally found her voice. "I'm from Rosewood. It's a small town. Not much to do there." Emily replied, with a slight nervous tone._

"_That seems cool! I wonder how it feels to live in a small town." The girl noted, as some others nodded in agreement._

"_So what are you into? Do you play any sports?" Another girl on Emily's left side asked._

"_Um, no, not really. I'm not really athletic, maybe that's why my dad sent me out here. I guess he's beginning to worry at how 'inactive' I am." The group chuckled lightly at that and Emily saw that Paige was looking at her attentively. "I mean, I've wanted to learn how to swim so maybe now would be the perfect chance."_

_Paige shook her head in disbelief. "You don't know how to swim?"_

_Emily dipped her head in embarrassment and shook her head. _

"_Well then maybe it was no coincidence that Paige was the one who found you. She is like the best swimmer here, she could easily teach you. You have nothing to worry about, right Paige?" The boy next to Paige spoke up, showing how supportive he was to the new girl in the group._

_Paige nodded excitingly. "That's right. I'll teach you. You'd be swimming like a fish in no time!" Paige smiled confidently at Emily. With that, Emily realized that she wasn't so scared anymore._

* * *

"Oh my God, don't remind me again. I think I almost fainted in there." Emily said expressively as she and Paige made their way to the natatorium. After her last class, she found Paige was waiting for her by their lockers, wanting to walk together to swim practice. Of course the gesture got Emily so happy.

Paige chuckled lightly at her dramatic. "But you didn't though; you managed to finish your part without a glitch. It was great Emily, don't worry, I'm sure we've managed to at least get a B+."

"Yeah, but really, my hands were trembling the whole time. I felt like it was winter or something. Do you really believe no one noticed?"

"No, they were too engrossed with everything you said and the way you said it. You were like a professional raconteur. Everyone was enchanted by you." _Especially me. _Paige reminded herself to hold back and not say or do anything that might freak Emily out. She wasn't even sure what the flutter in her stomach meant, but she knew that she felt it every time she was close to Emily.

Emily felt a slight blush creeping up to her face. _You really need to stop, Emily, you can't blush every single time Paige says something nice, get a grip. _"Uh, thanks, Paige. You know I wouldn't be able to pull it off if it wasn't for you too, you gave me courage." Emily offered her a smile, which Paige returned instantly.

As they approached the entrance, Paige automatically moved aside to push the door open and let Emily go through it first. As it turned out, Emily really had no control over her own body as she was sure her face had gone a darker shade of red. She always loved how thoughtful Paige was; she used to treat her like Emily was the most important person in the world. Paige had always put her first. And Emily smiled to herself, knowing that some things never really change.

Once they were inside, they quickly made their way to the locker room. When they passed Coach Fulton's office, they were put to a stop when they heard Paige's name being called. Paige stopped her track and Emily couldn't help but followed suit, it was getting hard for Emily to leave Paige side. She felt protective of Paige. The two girls saw Coach Fulton making her way to them, holding the same clipboard she always had in her hand in every practice.

"McCullers, I'm glad to see you feeling better already. I'm sorry to hear about what happened. I should've been there."

"Thanks Coach, and it's okay, really. I am grateful that Emily was there." Paige pointed out, smiled lightly at the girl next to her.

"Okay, but I just want to make sure that you really up for swimming today, I don't want you to force yourself. You know I'd understand if you want to skip one or two practices." Coach Fulton offered thoughtfully.

"I'm sure Coach, and the doctor already gave me the clearance." Paige nodded firmly.

"Okay, but no extra laps today, understand? And Fields, I need you to keep an eye out for your teammate."

"I got it, Coach." Emily said convincingly.

"Alright then, you two get change, I want everyone in the pool in 5 minutes."

* * *

An hour after practice was over; Paige sat at the edge of the pool, dipping her feet in, with both of her arms holding her up. She was waiting for Emily as the girl specifically ordered for her to wait up so they could go home together. Paige tried to convince her that she didn't mind walking to get home but Emily wouldn't have it. She assured Paige that it would give her a peace of mind if she could drive Paige home. Paige gave up the argument as she honestly liked the idea of spending more time with Emily. She gazed upon the surface of the pool, letting the water hypnotized her. She thought back to everything that had happened in her life these past 19 months. They seemed blurry, just as much as her memory before the fateful night.

As some flashes of that night started to creep back into her head, she bawled her right hand, flinching as she could feel her nails digging deep into her palm. She told herself to take a several long breaths to calm herself down. When she shut her eyes she tried to imagine many different things to bring herself back. Then her mind involuntarily wandered to the first time she met Emily, the feel when the girl hugged her spontaneously; she then basked in the warmth she saw in her smile and her eyes every time they hung out. She could feel her breathing slowing down to normal, as she gradually unclenched her hand. She opened her eyes and she was baffled by the fact that she didn't break down. And it was all because of…

"Paige, sorry I took too long." Emily's voice snapped her out of her trance. Paige turned her head to see that Emily was walking toward her. She smiled faintly.

"It's okay Emily, don't worry. I do take quick shower."

Seeing that Paige was not in any hurry to move and go home, Emily decided to sit down beside her. Emily noticed how sullen Paige looked just now, she wanted to ask what was going on through her mind, but decided against it. She told herself to be patient; Paige needed time to really open up and be comfortable with her. She examined Paige's face from the side, admiring how beautiful she was and how the water reflected on her face only accentuated the natural beauty.

"You really like the water, don't you?" Emily asked lightly, hoping to make conversation with the girl.

The rhetorical question got Paige to smile. "Yeah, I really do. The water calms me, and I have a lot of fond memories of it."

"Yeah, I think I understand you. I really love it too." Emily said as she gazed on the vast pool.

"Why?" Paige asked, wanting to know Emily better.

"Because like you said, I have a lot of memories related to it. Like the very first time I learned to swim at summer camp when I was 12, it was unforgettable." Emily smiled, dazed by the memory of Paige holding her up in the lake when they had their first lesson.

"That sounds nice. I used to go to summer camp too, but I was so young, I don't really remember much of it."

Emily frowned; she couldn't help how sad she got hearing Paige telling her that the best moments in her life weren't even real for the other girl. She shook her head inwardly. _Patient, Emily. It's about her, not you._

"I first learned to swim when I was 6. My mom taught me how." Paige continued, oblivious to how conflicted Emily was.

"Yeah? That must have been nice. How did you get into it so young?" Emily asked, pretending that she didn't know the story already.

"My parents were always busy you know? I mean it's understandable since my dad runs his own company and my mom is a doctor. They rarely spent time with me when I was little. But they tried to make up for it every other weekend, or on certain holidays. One day we went to the beach, it was the very first time I ever saw the ocean. It was magical." Paige's face brightened up at the memory. Emily smiled knowingly, remembering how Paige's expression right now looked exactly the same on the first time she told her that story.

"I played around the shore, making sand castles with my mom and my dad would take pictures. Then I saw some older kids running to the ocean and then swam through it like it was no big deal. I pointed it out to my mom and I told her that I wanted to do the same, I wanted to swim. I remember she smiled and stroked my hair telling me that it was dangerous to swim in the ocean if you're not a good swimmer. So I asked her if I could learn to swim like a fish. She chuckled and promised me that the next weekend she would find the time to teach me how to swim."

"She followed through her promise as the next weekend came and she took me up to the swimming pool area in our apartment building. The pool was not that big but as I approached it, the thought of how deep and wide it was scared me. My mom was already in the water and waited for me to jump in. I stood still by the edge, frightened; I told her that I don't think I could do it, that I don't wanna do it anymore. She then reminded me how I excited I was to swim in the ocean like a fish. I shook my head and on the verge of tears. She pulled herself out of the water and then she knelt down in front of me. She cupped my cheeks as she asked me what made me so scared. I told her that what if my arms and legs are not strong enough, what if I can't tell my body to stay afloat. She caressed my cheek and then she told me that she had a secret spell. I asked her what is it, then she said 'first step, believe in yourself…'"

"….nothing else matters more." Emily unintentionally said, finishing Paige's sentence.

Emily's body went rigid as she realized what she had just said. She hesitantly turned her head and saw that Paige was looking at her in disbelief.

"How…did you know that?" Paige asked after she managed to recover from her shock.

_Think, Emily. Think fast. _"Uh… Because it's what my dad told me when he taught me how to ride my bike. I guess our parents read the same motivational books or something." Emily laughed nervously, wishing that Paige would believe her lie.

Paige was silent for a moment but then she shook her head and smiled. "Yeah, that's totally possible. My mom did read a lot of psychological and motivational books back then. I guess it was to promote positivism to her patients. Anyway, do you want to go home now?"

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

Emily stopped her car on the side of the road in front of Paige's house; she glanced over the house and noticed how, again, the house looked vacant.

"I thought your dad would be home early after what happened. He seemed so worry when I saw him at the hospital."

"Yep, he did worry about me, too much actually. He has a business meeting in Philadelphia. He almost canceled going but I assured him that I'm gonna be fine." Paige explained nonchalantly.

Emily nodded, weighing whether she should ask the next question or not. "Paige, where is your mom?" Emily asked cautiously, she'd been wondering about it for quite some time and that night she couldn't hold off the question anymore.

Paige froze in her seat at that question. She knew that she only needed to give Emily a simple answer, it was no big deal. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal. _Don't make it a big deal, Paige_.

Emily noticed how uncomfortable Paige got because of the question, she wanted to back out, telling Paige that she didn't have to answer it but then she saw Paige's demeanor relaxed a bit.

"Uh…She's in New York; it's a long story…" Paige trailed off, giving Emily half-truth, again. She hoped Emily wouldn't catch on.

"Oh, okay. I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry or anything. It just, you told me a story about your mom and I got curious."

"It's okay, Emily. I get it. I just…well, not used to talking about myself, is all." Paige smiled weakly.

"I understand. But as I told you, I'm here, if and when you want to talk about anything at all." Emily reminded, putting her hand on top of Paige's. The action seemed to grow even more natural for her, and seeing that Paige never pulled away or protested in any way, she got even more encouraged to do so.

Paige relished in the feeling of Emily holding her, the same unfamiliar urge inside her grew stronger. It was nothing like she ever felt before. Some nights when she couldn't sleep, she would think on how easy it was to be around Emily, how she wanted to be closer, to know the girl better, how she wanted to be able to bear all of her and hope that Emily would stay beside her no matter what. She never questioned her sexuality, she didn't need to, because with Emily, everything felt…right. And tonight just proved that once again, so she decided not to deny what her heart had been telling her.

"Emily, can I ask you a question? And please don't get weirded out…" Paige asked reluctantly.

"Um…sure." Emily answered, confused on the sudden change from their earlier conversation.

"It's…uh, how do I say this? Um, I've been wondering if…" Paige couldn't seem to finish her question; her nerves got the better of her. "I'm just scared that this would change things, I don't want to lose you as a friend. So if I end up saying something wrong, could we just go back?"

"Paige, you're confusing me here. What's going on? Just tell me. How can I answer your question for sure, if you haven't even told me what's on your mind?" Emily reasoned, urging Paige to go on.

Paige braced herself to really look at Emily as she took a very deep breath. There it was, the mesmerizing brown eyes, and the soft smile that got her heart to skip a beat.

"Would you go out on a date with me?"


	7. Chapter 7 : In Between

**Disclaimer :**I do not own Pretty Little Liars. Nor the image I used for the cover. Though I own all of these mundane words I'd managed to write in one fateful night as the aftermath of drowning myself in Paily feels from one story to another countless story, especially Locum Tenens. Of this I'm actually quite proud.

* * *

**Author's Note : **Hey there! Yeah, I know, I know, I'm late. I'm sorry for that, I've been swamped with so many things lately; my work, my research, tutoring gigs and helping out my family with the process of moving to another house. So yeah, I barely had time to just relax. I'm physically and emotionally drained. And I just can't and _won't_ rush things, I already feel disappointed with this chapter as it is. So, like always, constructive feedback and reviews are welcomed and appreciated. Thank you for your constant support toward this story and also my other story **Teenage Drama**. Judging from my latest situation, I could promise to update every 3-7 days. A week would be latest and not more. Be patient, young Jedi…

Paily : OMG, thank you!

Del : If Paige McCullers is real, anyone of us would surely say yes :) In many cases of amnesia, some feelings are still intact toward a place, material stuff and even more toward a person. Clearly Paige was being impulsive, daring, there's something about Emily she can't even fathom, but she decided to find out, she still feels connected somehow. Those unfamiliar feelings are much stronger than what she knows cognitively. Hope to hear from you again later on!

Guest 1 : I'm sorry I left you hanging and that the update couldn't be soon enough. But thank you for reading and loving my story. About that sexual tension stuff, ahm, let me figure it out first yeah? I'll get back to you when I'm ready to write something more…intense :p

Guest 2 : Thank you! I'd be sure to continue on this story till the end :)

As for others, I hope my direct responses were enough to show my gratitude. And I really appreciate how talkative and encouraging all of you are. It's nice to know that I could maybe talk or discuss my story with you.

Back to business!

* * *

"_I did something…crazy."_

"_Hmm, do you want to tell me what you did?"_

"_I… Well, it was impulsive, spontaneous…something I can't explain properly. I don't even know what to think of it."_

"_Well, how do you feel about it? What did you feel after you do it?"_

"_I felt…relieved, like I'm finally breathing again, living again. But…I'm scared."_

"_What are you scared of?"_

"_That I'm going to ruin things. Because I'm not ready…"_

"_Impulses tend to come from your subconscious, telling you things that you're not really aware of; things you might don't want to admit yet."_

"_I know, I know. I just…what if it doesn't work out? I really want this to work out."_

"_I see. Tell me then; what makes this so important to you? Maybe we can work from there."_

"_Because this…it feels like I've been given a second chance."_

* * *

"So…things have escalated rather quickly huh?" Hanna asked, arching her eyebrows, with that smug grin on her face.

When Emily told her friends about Paige the other day, about how she felt toward her, she didn't share any details because she wasn't sure if the other girl felt the same way. But of course, Paige asking her out on a date, something she still found so hard to believe, was enough to assure her that this was going somewhere. And it was worth mentioning to her best friends. So there she was, ready to be scrutinized and teased endlessly by her over-bubbly friend. Emily just nodded at Hanna's clearly rhetorical question.

"If you're going to say 'I told you so', just be done with it." Spencer retorted, not wanting to let Hanna gloat too long.

"Nah, come on Spence, we're seniors. I'm so much mature now." Hanna said, playing it cool.

"Really, Han?" Aria pushed, not believing a single word Hanna uttered.

"Really." Hanna nodded with a made up serious look at Aria then shifted her attention to Emily who sat next to her. "So you can just tell us all about it Ems, come on, spare us no details."

"So, yeah, where was I? Oh right. Swim practice. So after that I offered her a ride home. When we got to her house…"

"Ah, you kissed and made out, didn't you?" Hanna teased.

"No, Hanna!" Emily breathed in slowly, trying to remind herself that she was prepared for this, she was ready to bat away Hanna's teasing.

"Han, would you just let me Emily finish her story?" Aria demanded calmly. Emily was grateful that she could always depend on Aria to direct the conversation back to what really matters. Though what really mattered to Hanna was obviously about kissing and making out. But who could blame her?

"Thanks Aria. Yeah, so, we stayed in my car for a while…" Emily saw the changing expression on Hanna's face, "…_talking_. And then, I noticed that she went silent and like lost in thoughts. I waited for her to tell me what was going through her mind. She then asked if she could ask me a question. I told her she could. But then she got nervous and rambled about how she didn't want things to change between us. I was so confused at that point. So I just told her that she could tell me anything and I'd still be her friend. What happened after that, her question…it was…" Emily couldn't help but smile, lost in thoughts of Paige and her sweetness.

"What, what, what? Out with it, Fields!" Of course, patience is not a virtue of Hanna's.

"Well, she asked me out on a date…"

"_I told you so_! What do you have to say now, Hastings? I was right! So what that makes you? Oh right, _wrong_!" Hanna could just practically do a winning dance then and there.

"What happened to being mature, Han?" Aria quipped.

"Well tell that to that grumpy and bitter lady over there, she won't even graciously admit that she was wrong." Hanna retorted, giving out a pointed look toward Spencer who just sat there, arms folded in front of her chest and grumbled while looking the other way.

Aria shook her head; she still can't believe how Spencer could sometimes be…so not Spencer. "Anyway, so you have a date with Paige, that's great Em. I'm really happy for you!" Aria offered her most genuine smile.

"Thanks Aria, I am rather excited about it." Emily dipped her head, smiling shyly.

"And where is that sly girl now? I thought you'd bring her to have lunch with us." Hanna pointed out, looking around the courtyard.

"Well, she's been doing some extra laps during lunch period; our first swim meet is coming soon so she wants to be ready." Emily answered quickly.

"So basically she's avoiding you and us because she's nervous?" Hanna concluded, sometimes she could be so perceptive.

"Well, yeah…" Emily sighed, knowing that Paige was in fact keeping her distance.

"So, when is this date supposed to happen?" Spencer finally spoke up, ignoring the eyes rolling happening across from her.

"This Friday. She said she'd come over to my house at 7."

"What are you guys gonna do? Where are you gonna go? What will you wear?" Hanna asked impatiently.

"Hanna, what's with the 20 questions. Geez, it's Emily's date, not yours." Aria attempted to cool off the blonde, knowing it would be in vain.

"What happened to being best friends, what's mine it's yours and that kind of stuff…" Hanna shrugged nonchalantly.

"Oh God, Hanna, that sounds so wrong in so many levels, are you saying that you're willing to share Caleb?" Emily countered, having enough of her personal life being the headline of their conversation.

"Ew, of course not… Though, we did talk about the possibility of a threesome once or twice. Maybe…"

"NO!" The three girls shouted out in unison.

"Jeez, I'm kidding..."

* * *

"Mom, I'm home!" Emily yelled out as she stepped inside her house.

"I'm in the living room."

Emily walked over to where her mom was, intending on telling her about the date she would have later that night. The suspense was killing her, and she could tell that Paige wasn't doing better either. The girl was obviously avoiding her, she barely said a word when they had swim practice the day before, but her shy smiles and glances over to where Emily was every time they were in the same room or just across the hallways weren't too subtle, so the silent treatment hadn't freaked Emily into thinking that Paige had changed her mind about the date.

Emily found it endearing how nervous Paige really was with the prospect of their first date. So Emily didn't push the girl to tell her where they were going to go, what she had planned for the night. Though she was persistent on asking of what she should be wearing and Paige's answer was simple, she told Emily to wear something casual and comfortable. And not skirts. The last detail intrigued Emily but she didn't think too much of it. That shouldn't be too hard, right? Still it doesn't help that it is their first date and Emily would over-analyze every thing right down to the color of her sock just to make sure that the date would go perfectly, if she were to wear socks that is.

"Hey, sweetheart, you're home early." Pam put down the magazine she was reading as her daughter sat down next to her on the couch.

"What do you mean?" Emily asked though her mind wasn't really there. It was upstairs, inside her closet, picking out the possible outfits she would try on before deciding on which one to wear.

"I mean, it's Friday night and usually you go out with the girls." Pam stated thoughtfully.

"Well…now that you mentioned that. I _am_ going out tonight Mom, but not with the girls. Um…I have a date." Emily should really start to get a hold of the blush streaking down her face every time she talks about Paige or even, thinks about the auburn girl. Her gazed was fixed on the car keys she was fiddling on her lap.

"Oh. That sounds nice. Do I know the lucky girl?" At first Pam didn't respond well when Emily came out, but seeing her daughter is now finally content and happy with herself, Pam could only wish that Emily would soon find someone who's worthy of her affection.

"Um, no, she's new in town. Her name is Paige McCullers, she just transferred to Rosewood High…" Emily looked up, seemingly eager to share her excitement with her mom.

"Ah, I think I met her father then, it's Nick McCullers right? I met him the other day; the poor man was lost, trying to find his way to the pharmacy. He seemed…nice." Pam was struggling to find the right words to describe the man, and it's not like one quick encounter is enough to really measure someone's personality.

"Yeah, he is, though he seems intimidating at first. But…Paige doesn't really take after her dad…" Emily trailed off, a subtle smile and far off look was on her face.

"Yeah, tell me how is she like then."

"She's…funny, smart, thoughtful, kind and funny, oh wait I already mentioned that…"

Pam smiled at her daughter, knowing all too well how it is to be young and in love, though technically her daughter was not in love, yet. "Well I'd approve anyone who could put that kind of smile on your face."

Emily almost tear up at that, she never thought her mom would be so supportive, but then she believed that everything they had to go through before was nothing if this is the kind of acceptance and appreciation her mom would give her for the rest of her life.

"Thanks, Mom. And you will get the chance to meet her tonight. She's picking me up at 7."

"I'd love to meet her. Well then I guess you need to get ready for your date. Even though it's only 4 o'clock…"

"How did you know?" Emily asked, her smile growing even wider.

"Because I know how nerve-wrecking first dates are. You're going to take a long shower and then rummage through your closet to find the perfect outfit and at first everything will seem wrong and those clothes will end up scattered around your room and…"

"I promise I'll clean up the mess before I go on my date, Mom."

"Now that's my girl, I've raised you right." Pam quipped jokingly.

* * *

Paige walked down the sidewalk with two things in her hand. As she saw that her destination was getting closer, she started to take longer breaths, trying to shake off the nerves that had been her constant companion ever since she asked Emily out on a date. Oh well, if she was being honest, her nerves always go side by side with Emily's presence. She climbed up the stairs of Emily's porch, stopping at arm's length from the front door. She looked down at her outfit, making sure that she looked decent. She ran her fingers through hair, tucking strand of hair behind her ear. She glanced at her watch for one last time, cleared her throat and then finally knocked on the door. She heard someone moving toward the door. And as the door slowly opened, she gulped and then gave out her best smile, knowing that Emily's mom would be the one greeting her.

"Good evening, Mrs. Fields. I'm Paige McCullers. I'm here to see Emily?" Paige started, trying to maintain her composure.

"Ah, Paige! Yes, come in, come in." Pam moved aside, allowing the young girl to step into the house.

Paige amiably made her way inside, took a couple of steps before she stood up straight, waiting for Pam to close the door behind them. When the older woman finally turned her attention back to Paige, she smiled politely and stretched out her right hand.

"This is for you, Mrs. Fields, I hope you like blueberry. They say it's the best in town."

"Why thank you, Paige, you really didn't have to." Pam noticed the brand logo on the side of the thin box. "Oh, from Luke's bakery? It definitely is the best then."

"Well I hope you enjoy it." Paige continued, her nerves seemed to multiply with each minute that had passed. Pam was aware of how much courage it took the young girl to be able to stand there in front of her, it was clear that the girl had good manners. Pam liked her already.

"Emily mentioned that you would come over to pick her up, but it's only 6.30 now, I'm afraid she's not ready yet. Or do you want me to let her know you're here?"

Paige shook her head. "No, no, it's okay Mrs. Fields, I did intent to come early so I could introduce myself to you properly. I want you to know that I'm gonna take a good care of your daughter tonight." Paige muttered out, hoping that she didn't over-do her little speech.

"Well, I could already tell that you will. Alright then, let's move this to the living room; we could have some tea while we wait for my daughter and you can tell me all about you." If first impression is anything to go by, then Pam was definitely impressed by the young girl. As she gestured Paige to the living room, she noticed the girl was holding a small bouquet in her left hand.

"Flowers?" Pam raised her eyebrows in amusement.

"Yeah, I know this may be cheesy but…"

"Emily sure will love them."

* * *

Emily stood before her mirror, satisfied with her choice of outfit; she checked every little detail, she didn't even miss the single thread poking out from her ivory v-neck pullovers that must be cut to make sure everything goes smoothly. She straightened out her clothes one more time, ran down a brush through her hair and then flipped it over one shoulder and practiced that smile she would give Paige when she greets her by the door. _Okay, enough with all of these. _Emily took up her purse and keys then decided to go downstairs to ask for her mom's opinion about her appearance, before Paige got there to pick her up. She strolled down the stairs; she could hear mom's voice from the living room. _Maybe she's on the phone with Dad? _Emily continued making her way to the living room until she finally saw who her mom was talking to.

"Paige! You're here!" Emily's eyes widened in surprise, taking in the view in front of her. Paige was sitting right across her mom, holding a cup of tea in her hand. "I'm sorry, have you waited long? I was so sure that I'd still have five minutes before you got here." _You really shouldn't check yourself out too long in front of the mirror, Emily!_

"No, it's okay, I came here early…"

"Paige got here almost half an hour ago, sweetheart, she said she wanted to introduce herself to me but I ended up talking her ears off." Pam laughed sweetly before she gazed back to the girl in front of her. "I hope you didn't get bore to death because of me, Paige."

"I really had a good time, Mrs. Fields. And I enjoyed the tea, it was really nice." Paige smiled charmingly. She got up from her seat as she saw Pam was about to clear up the coffee table. "Let me help you with that…"

"It's okay, I got it Paige." Pam quickly gathered up the pot and cups in her hands and went into the kitchen.

Emily noticed how relaxed the atmosphere was, how easy the interaction between her mom and Paige. But that didn't help with her pounding heart as she stood there anxiously, running her hand through her hair. "So…"

Paige was already on her feet, taking a few steps toward Emily. She presented the flowers bouquet she brought for her. "This is for you…"

Emily took the flowers from Paige's hand. Lilies. One of her favorites. She breathed them in before she looked back to the amazing girl who never fails to put a smile on her face. "Thank you so much, I really love them."

They stood there, looking at each other, taking in all of the details; embracing the endless possibilities of the night. Before either of them could speak up once more, Pam had appeared back in the room, clearing her throat to break the unspoken intense moment between the girls.

"So, I guess you're all set then?"

"Yes, Mom. We'll get going. Could you maybe put these in a vase for me?" Emily asked, handing the flowers to her mom.

"Of course, dear. And Paige, it was really nice meeting you." Pam smiled earnestly to the girl who had managed to impress her.

"It's really nice meeting you too, Mrs. Fields. I'd be sure to get Emily home before 10.30."

Pam approached her daughter closer to kiss her cheek and she whispered, "I really like her, she's a keeper." Which made Emily grinned widely before she turned her head and kissed her mom back.

* * *

"Do you mind if we just walk? The autumn breeze is so nice and our destination is not really that far but if you mind then…"

"Paige, it's okay. Let's just walk." Emily cut her off, relieving Paige from her uneasy rambling. "Where are we going again?"

Paige didn't give a response, instead she just smiled and gestured Emily to go ahead down the front porch of Fields' residence. Once they both hit the sidewalk, they walked side by side in synchronized rhythmic. None of the girls wanted to instantly break the silence, it was comforting, soothing. Paige could hear the leaves rustling over her head, up in the air the trees serenaded their walk. Paige really wanted to hold Emily's hand but she thought not to get ahead of herself.

"You look really nice, Emily." Paige couldn't hold it off much longer, when she first saw Emily stepping into the room, the only thing crossed her mind was 'wow'. But she didn't want to comment on how beautiful Emily that night in front of her mother.

"Uh, thanks. You look good as well. Leather jackets suit you." Emily smiled appreciatively to the girl next to her. Paige was indeed look gorgeous and cool at the same time, it always baffled Emily how she could manage to pull off the combination. "And what you did, I'm sure my mom really appreciated it. You're sweet."

Paige dropped her head down, chuckled nervously. "It was nothing, really. It's my pleasure…"

"It was considerate and respectful, I'm sure my mom would support me on that, she really likes you." _Not as much as I like you, of course._

"I hope so. I don't want her to give you hard times about dating me…" Paige realized how presumptuous she might have sounded. "I mean…not that I assume we are dating like _dating_, I just…ugh, I'd love to… I, I mean…"

"Paige, Paige, I get it. Don't worry…" Emily interjected, hoping to calm the girl. If Paige wasn't really freaking out, Emily would laugh at how cute Paige is.

"Right, just…I promise what's to come it's a lot better than my off-putting mumbles you just witnessed."

"I'm sure it will."

* * *

After 15 minutes of walking, the girls reached the town square area where the lively atmospheres caught on fast around them. Cars passing by, a lot of teenagers roamed the sidewalk; laughing, enjoying the start of their weekend. Through some window panes of restaurants and cafes it was clear that it was going to be a busy night for those establishments. Paige led their way passing some closed off stores and then came to abrupt stop in front of the art shop and gallery. "We're here."

Emily wrinkled her eyebrows in confusion. The store was closed and even if it wasn't, it's an art shop and gallery; she knew it well because she liked to accompany Aria there to buy art supplies. Why would they go there on a date? "I don't get it, it's closed Paige, what are we doing again?"

Paige remained mysterious as she took Emily's hand and slowly pulled to guide her into the side alleyway of the building. The simple touch made Emily's heart gone wild; she really missed the contact; the way Paige would hold her protectively, the way Paige would kiss her passionately and the way… She quickly shook her head, trying to get rid of not so innocent thoughts that conveniently crept into her mind lately.

Paige stopped their tracks and let go of Emily's hand. She looked up and immediately pulled down the metal ladder that was hanging a feet away above them. When the ladder had stretched down to its full length, less then a feet above the ground, she gestured Emily to climb on up.

"What? We can't do that. It's like we're breaking into the building."

"Don't worry. I already talked with the owner and she gave me permission. Trust me, there's no way I would risk it. So, shall we?" Paige assured, offering her hand to help Emily climb on the first step of the ladder.

"Uh, okay…" Emily took Paige's hand and then tentatively gripped on the metal bar, stepping her right foot on and began to pull herself up before she stopped momentarily.

"What's wrong, Emily?" Paige could sense that Emily was unsure about something.

"Um, I'm kinda afraid of heights. So…" Emily admitted sheepishly.

"Oh. We don't have to do this; I don't want you to get uncomfortable…" Paige offered understandingly.

Emily took a second to think, the date hasn't even begun yet and she already messed up. "No, it's okay. I just need a moment. This ladder is kinda wobbly too…"

"I'll hold it steady until you reach the fire escape stairs. I promise I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you." Paige affirmed, hoping to ease Emily's mind.

"_Then you know I'll catch you. I promise. I would __**never**__ let you get hurt."_

The memory involuntarily seeped into Emily's mind. _Of course, this is Paige. I could trust her with my life_. Emily nodded slightly as she began ascending the ladder, while Paige gripped tightly at the sides. Once she saw Emily had reached the fire escape, she shouted out, "Go on and climb until the top, Emily. I'll be right behind you."

* * *

Once Paige reached the top, she immediately focused on Emily, asking her if she's okay. Emily nodded and laughed nervously, still trying to recover from her slight meltdown. Paige waited patiently by her side and when she assumed that Emily was ready to go on, she offered her hand once more to Emily, which Emily took quickly and hold tightly. Paige pulled her close as she asked Emily to close her eyes. Emily furrowed her brows, but the hint of excitement was evident on her face. She complied, closing her eyes slowly. Then she could feel that Paige moved right beside her, her arm circled around her waist as the other hand covering Emily's eyes. They began to walk together, Paige leading the way. After what felt like forever, Paige once again stopped their tracks and whispered to Emily; "Are you ready?" which responded with a nod and wide grin from the tanned girl.

Paige moved her hand away as Emily's eyes fluttered open. The sight before her was…magical. Something she had seen out of magazine pictures or scenes of romantic movies. There was a red and white plaid patterned blanket splayed on the ground, with a wooden picnic basket sitting in the middle of it. Surrounding the blanket were white votive candles inside these glass blown holders and when she looked up, she noticed the sparkle of tiny white lights reflecting in the night, hung loosely from one post on the far side of the rooftop to one that was on the left side of them. The lights illuminated the whole setting, creating a dreamy and 'fairy-tale' look for the most perfect first date Emily could ever imagine. When she glanced back to Paige, she could see how Paige was fidgeting on her feet, looking down with one hand in her jacket's pocket and the other on the back of her neck.

"Paige..." Emily started; she could feel tears threatened to fall off her eyes. Happy tears, of course. Anything Paige does for her always make her happy.

Paige looked up, meeting Emily's eyes. "I just thought that candle light dinner in a restaurant is boring and I want to do something different, so I thought 'why don't we have twinkling light picnic on a rooftop instead'. I know it's cheesy and poorly executed, I wish I had more time but…" Paige explained cautiously as she measured Emily's reaction.

"No buts. It's perfect." Emily smiled as she braced herself to take a step closer and leaned in to kiss Paige's cheek.

Paige gasped at the sudden unexpected contact, looking intensely at Emily, still in disbelief that she was on a date with the most beautiful and amazing girl. She quickly collected herself and started off walking backwards to the blanket, taking Emily's hand in hers and pulled the girl softly onto the blanket where she gestured Emily to sit down on one side while she scrambled across her, preparing the iPod dock that had been set there. "Music or no music?" Paige asked smoothly.

"Music." Emily grinned, convinced that the night would be one of the most amazing nights ever; the kind of memory that would stay with her forever, embedded close to her heart.

* * *

When the girls finished with their picnic dinner, it was already 9.30. Time does fly by so quickly when you're having fun. Emily was truly enjoying herself and she could see how Paige had let loose more around her. Paige was being her charming and funny self, telling Emily silly stories, making her laugh so many times. They also exchanged some things personal; Emily told Paige about her family, how she rarely sees her dad and how she misses him tremendously. Paige shared about her friends back in New York, the things she used to do with them, the vacations she took with her family, but never touched the more serious and emotional stuff and Emily understood her, she wouldn't push Paige for something she wasn't ready for. After all the laughter died down and it seemed like there were no more words to exchange, they settled in another comfortable silence before Paige finally looked up and hastily got on her feet.

She helped Emily got up as she began to speak up. "I know you're afraid of heights but I really want to show you something. Do you want to?"

Emily nodded, biting her bottom lip, a rush of fear creeping back as she tried to picture what other surprise Paige might have up on her sleeve. They made their ways to the front of the rooftop, where Emily could see steps stuck by the wall. Then Paige started to step on them, bringing herself up to sit by the ledge, she was straddling the ledge as she looked down on Emily and stretched out her hand, hoping Emily would join her. Emily gulped nervously, worry was on her face, but Paige's voice soothed her. "Come on, I promise you won't regret this." Paige smiled lovingly, erasing all the doubts swarming Emily's mind. The next thing she knew, she already sat down beside Paige, with her two hands propped beside her. She glanced over to see Paige's face, she looked so calm and at ease, looking out to the vast endless view before her.

Getting over her nerves, Emily took everything in. The jammed small town scenes below her, the lights from some building through out, the distant hills surrounding the area, the wide dark sky and those stars sparkling through the darkness. It was something mundane, something she always took for granted, things she surely missed out on. And Paige had managed to show her the true beauty of simplicity. She could hear the wind howled and she unconsciously rubbed on her arms, feeling slight shivers coursed through. Paige noticed that and she promptly took off her jacket and draped it over Emily's shoulder. Emily refused at first, assuming that Paige would get cold since she was only wearing a t-shirt but Paige convinced her that she was used to cooler autumn nights back in New York. Emily gave in and she decided to wear the jacket properly.

"Do you know why I took you here?" Paige asked as she gazed upon the girl beside her. Emily shook her head, silently telling Paige to go on with her story.

"Well this is like the highest building in Rosewood, I think. It's nothing like those skyscrapers you could find in the big cities. But it's high enough for me. I used to go out on the balcony of our apartment and just sat there, looking down to the crazy street with the busy traffic and all, the lights coming from the cars that pass by every second, the over-whelming sounds and voices from people scattered all over the ground. Then when I look up, I could see the skyline, not like this clear view of the sky we have here, but it still soothes me to know that there's this indefiniteness above us, like two worlds collide and we're in between them. You know?" Paige looked intently at Emily.

"I…I don't think I understand what you're saying, Paige." Emily really hoped that she did, but she ignored the embarrassment of her little admission, hoping Paige would elaborate more, making her see what she truly meant.

"Hmm…Okay, close your eyes then." Paige requested, as she moved her right hand on top of Emily's left hand. Emily once again complied and closed her eyes.

"Now…Tell me what you hear. Listen really closely."

"Um…I hear…some people chattering below us, I could hear laughter. I could hear the cars passing by, the sound of their tires. I could faintly hear some music…" Emily answered, focusing hard.

"Now try to hear past them, what do you hear?" Paige continued, holding Emily's hand tighter, encouraging the girl.

"…I hear the wind howled. There's also that rustling sound, it sounds so far from us, but I could hear it and then…" Emily scrunched up her eyebrows, concentrating harder. "Nothing. I could hear nothing more, it's like the silence has its own sound…"

Paige smiled hearing Emily's answer, satisfied that she managed to get across her vision of things. "Exactly. Now open your eyes."

Emily opened her eyes and saw that Paige was looking at her with this sweet smile and adoring eyes. She then realized that Paige had intertwined their fingers.

"You see, we're used to seeing things as a whole, losing some of the true essence of their being as individual unit. We take everything in, letting the sensations over-whelm our senses. Sometimes we would see things separately but then over-looking how it merges together with its surrounding. Being in a high place like this reminds me to really appreciate all the little details, how they work together or against each other, the contrast of the world we live in. If we focus on those crowd below us, we practically miss how the wind singing its songs around us, how the stars making up their story blinking lightly above us and how the sky, just like the earth, is filled with life and wondrous things."

Emily never stopped loving this incredible girl sitting close to her but she could have sworn that she was falling all over again, deeper, stronger. She could feel Paige's heart, she could see through her soul. Paige was beautiful inside and out, there was no one else that could make her feel this way. She promised herself to stay by her side, protecting her from whatever cruel past Paige had to carry within her. Paige smiled at her sweetly, squeezing her hand before speaking up. "Let me take you home now. I promised you mom we won't be out too late."

* * *

The walk home was peaceful and fulfilling. Emily could feel this content and easy feeling washed all over her and of course it also had something to do with the fact that Paige was holding her hand all the way through, stroking the back of her hand with her thumb every now and then. She really didn't want the night to end, but she also knew that it really wasn't the end between them. It was a new beginning, a new chapter they were gonna write together. And she was beyond excited of whatever the future holds for them.

Paige was lost in thoughts, thinking about so many different things at once; how her life had turned out unexpectedly, how she would be able to truly move on from her past, how she could conquer her demons and be someone worthy of love and how…all of those things couldn't compare to the fact that she was holding Emily's hand and everything in the world felt right again. She could picture herself being someone who deserves Emily's affection; she wants to be that person more than she ever wanted anything else her whole life. She determined to be better, to get better, to maybe someday letting Emily in completely.

They finally reached Emily's house. They stepped slowly and silently onto the porch where Emily turned her body around to face Paige, but not breaking the contact of their hands.

"I really had a great time tonight, Paige. Thank you." Emily started, smiling sweetly as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with her other hand.

"It really was an amazing night, especially since I spent it with you. So thank _you _for agreeing to go out with me." Paige returned the smile as she decided on how to end the night. "So…I guess I'll see you tomorrow at swim practice?"

"Of course, I can't wait to see you again."

Paige really, really wanted to kiss Emily, on the lips. She really wanted to know how soft those rosy lips are, how in tune they would move against her own. But she knew that she wasn't ready for it, she reminded herself not to rush things. It was after all their first date and maybe people would judge her as conventional, but she wanted their first kiss to be meaningful, not just a way to end the night. So she decided on something simpler, even though it still took every fiber of courage she had inside her. She slowly leaned in, noticing how Emily froze as she realized that Paige was moving closer to her. Before she lost her resolve, she gave Emily's cheek a kiss that lingered for a few seconds before she moved back, gauging Emily's reaction to the gesture.

Emily smiled widely and looked at her softly. It assured Paige that she did the right thing. She said her goodbye and told Emily to go inside. Emily, still dazed from the sensation of Paige's warm and soft lips on her cheek, managed to nod and slowly walking backward a couple of steps before she turned around to open the front door. When she finally got inside she could see that Paige was already off her porch but still waiting on her to close the door. They gave out their awkward waves and exchanged final smiles before Emily closed the door completely. She took a long breath as she steadied her heart that was beating rapidly in her chest and tried to control the growing goofy smile on her face. She leaned her back on the door, her hand reaching up, caressing her cheek. _I'm so not going to wash my face tonight_.

* * *

**P.S. **This is _so not_ a cliffhanger. No one could complain otherwise! :p And again, thank you so much for putting up with me so far, you guys rock!


	8. Chapter 8 : Progress

**Disclaimer :**I do not own Pretty Little Liars. Nor the image I used for the cover. Though I own all of these mundane words I'd managed to write in one fateful night as the aftermath of drowning myself in Paily feels from one story to another countless story, especially Locum Tenens. Of this I'm actually quite proud.

* * *

**Author's Note : **My apologies for being SUPER late. Trust me when I say I give myself a hard time over this. Life has been…unexpected. I've been thrown a curve ball and I'm just trying to handle it. I will not bore you with sob stories that are my life right now. Writing has been my solitude, and I just got the time to write again, and knowing that you all enjoy my writing too, it gives me a reason to smile and just hang in there. So yeah, I will not make promises this time as I don't want to let you and myself down for not keeping it. But after everything settle down, I'd go back to updating regularly. Your constant support means a lot, thanks for sticking with me

**AM** : The 'muse' is strong with this one. Yoda Master? No one ever called me that before, you're awesome! Thank you so much!

**Del** : Your review has become one of the things I love from writing this fic. Thank you for your constant support, and I'm glad that you enjoy the date! Pam sure loves Paige, why wouldn't she? And the build ups, hopefully they'll lead to something that you will enjoy as well as the entire here and there little excitements. Ah, Delphine, right? I think I've picked up your name on some other story's A/N, if it is right; it's nice to 'meet' you

**Guest** : The chapter came out better than I expected, I wasn't really disappointed with the content per se, more like disappointed for being late. So you can imagine how I feel now. Ah Paige, who wouldn't want a Paige McCullers in their lives?

Special shout out for my **'agent'**, who shall not be named, and **redgirl25**, you both has been my constant companion through sleepless nights, filling them with silly smiles and laughter, weird and amusing conversations, and of course, those encouraging words to get me through. So, thank you…

Are we ready now?

* * *

"_I had another dream last night…"_

"_Is it the same dream?"_

"_Yes…and no."_

"_Could you tell me more about it?"_

"_Well…it started out the same. It was dark, I couldn't see anything and yet I saw everything, like these blurred images playing in front of me, some I recognized, I knew for sure they were part of my memory but some…I couldn't quite place them. Whenever I tried to reach out, they'd disappear, whenever I got too close, they'd dissolve into thin air and I was left with nothing. And so I started running, in this forsaken place that seemed to have no end. I mean does the darkness have its end?"_

"_We've established what you feel about it before. Has it changed?"_

"…_yes. So, I was running, like always, with no direction, why would it matter anyway, I was going as fast as I could but I might as well staying put since it doesn't change a thing, it's not like I knew for sure that I was moving in the first place, but this time…when I was about to break down and go back to that too familiar of a place. I saw a light. And it froze me, I felt her again, but it's different. I have found her again, but not in the way I thought I would."_

"_What's different about it now?"_

"_This time, it's not her who tried calling me back, it was Emily…"_

* * *

Paige walked down the stairs triumphantly, lightly, as if she had achieved something great in her life. She really believed that she had, even if it's only in one part of her life, but it's a progress nonetheless. She could honestly feel like she's getting somewhere now. Life had thrown her a curve ball and she didn't think she could handle it. And if she was honest, she didn't even handle it at all. But as of today, as of she woke up no longer in deep indescribable agony that she had grown used to, something else managed to seep in. _Hope_. She almost forgot how it feels. She almost forgot _how_ to feel. But then comes along Emily Fields. She still can't figure out why or how this girl she just met around a month ago has managed to bring out the side of her she had buried, unwillingly and unconsciously, on that fateful night. She never thought moving to a small town as a façade of starting over could actually mean starting over. And she refused to let go, not this time.

Paige rounded the corner, going right into her kitchen to grab breakfast before she had to leave for morning swim practice. The first meet was coming soon, so it was only logical that the practice sessions had grown more intense. As she passed the doorway, she finally noticed that her dad was sitting in one of the stools. A rare sight indeed, her dad was never big on breakfasts nor was he on spending his time at home. Paige slowed down her pace, cautiously approaching him. It used to be different, the interaction they once had; the bond they had built. Yes, there was a moment when she could actually feel a connection with her father. But of course, everything had changed when she could no longer hide herself, when she couldn't be the daughter he wanted her to be, when on that night her dad finally admitted his biggest regret…

"Paige! You woke up early?" Nick tentatively cleared his throat before speaking up; effectively breaking off the trance Paige was in.

"Uh…yeah, I have, um, swim practice. The first meet is coming." Paige responded anxiously, slowly making her way to the counter island.

"Well do you have a minute to spare? Maybe we can…um, catch up for a bit." Nick offered awkwardly, being unsure was definitely not in Nick McCullers' book, but that day, speaking to her daughter for the first time ever since they moved to Rosewood, in a sense of _really _talking to her, he couldn't for the life of his figure out the right way to start up a conversation with her properly.

_Catch up? _An idea that sounded so absurd to her mind but she relented. What did she have to lose anyway? Paige nodded her head; she casually sat down on a stool on the other end of the counter. She propped both of her hands on the seat, between her thighs, looking down, waiting for his dad to follow through with his brilliant idea.

"So…how's school?" Nick started.

Paige looked up, acknowledging how uncomfortable her dad was with the situation. _That makes two of us_. "School's good." Paige replied quickly.

"Have you caught up with all make-up assignments?"

"Um yeah, everything has been sorted out, Dad." Paige gave out a small smile.

Nick nodded his head a couple of times. "Good, that's good. And how's swimming? I hope you don't strain yourself too much."

Paige scrunched her eyebrows; her dad was concerned, not about her time, not about her grades, but about _her_. It might be implied, but it's there. Is it possible that her dad was telling the truth, about trying and making amends? Would she allow herself to believe that even in a split second? After everything, she doesn't hate her dad, ever. But she couldn't tell for sure if her dad shared the same sentiment, not after what she did, the way she destroyed their perfect family.

"I don't. I'm trying to get back into it and I think it has gone rather well."

Nick nodded his head again, aware that the act was repeated way too often. "Um…you haven't missed any of your appointments, have you?"

Paige promptly shook her head. "No, Dad, of course not." Paige looked away, this topic of conversation had certainly rubber her off the wrong way.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to assume anything by it." Nick clenched his jaw; swallowed a lump in his throat. "I just…I want you to feel better, Paige. That's the whole point of moving here."

"But it's not convenient for you, is it? You still have to go back and forth from here to New York. Mom…" Paige trailed off, she couldn't breach that subject, she knew it better not to.

"…would agree with me on this. It's for the best." Nick concluded, indirectly telling Paige to drop the issue. "And how's…Ms. Fields? She seemed like a nice girl, decent. It's nice to know that you've made friends here."

Paige contemplated on her next answer, she knew it for sure that she couldn't see Emily just as a friend, she wanted to be more, they were starting to be more, but could she really tell him that? After everything, her dad never brought up the issue again. Maybe he just chose to forget about it or ignored it and hoped that somehow Paige had _also _forgotten the fact that she was gay. She shook her head, determined not to hide away again. She talked about it with her therapist, she seemed to encourage Paige to just be herself, that it would relieve her from some of her struggles and that her dad would somehow find a way to accept it, or just try to tolerate it at first. "Um…yeah, she is nice. But…dad, she's not just…you know, eh…a friend." Paige managed to stutter out, but she dared to look up, meeting Nick's eyes intensely, to show what she really meant, to convey that she was not ashamed of who she is, to _hope _that her dad finally understood.

Nick looked back at his daughter, seeing the depth in her eyes, the courage she had to defend what she believed in, the fight she had in her soul, and the silent plead she conveyed through her body gestures. Nick raised her daughter to be a person of integrity, someone who's determined, focused, and ambitious. He wanted Paige to have the best of everything the world could offer; he demanded Paige to _be _the best and he did realize that sometimes he could be too hard on her, but he justified the way he treated his daughter as a way of showing that he cared about her. He saw the struggle Paige had before and dismiss it, telling her that she didn't work hard enough, that she didn't want it bad enough, making his daughter feel like she was being weak. He was never there when Paige was hurting, he wasn't there to calm her through tears and mend her wounds, it was all up to his wife and he believed that it was enough, that Paige had the balance she needed. God, how wrong he had been.

After everything she'd been through, after all the struggles, the battles, his daughter still managed to stand tall, not willing to give up easily. She was there, standing her ground, trying to make him see that nothing had changed. He finally understood, Paige was still his little girl; the one he was so proud of for winning swimming competitions, the one who spent her weekends to practice and practice when other kids her age would go out and play, the one who fulfilled all of his expectations with her perfect grade and astounding achievements. The same girl who was respectful, kind, and thoughtful to others; and yet, he kept on disappointing her, he made her feel inadequate, worthless, and _wrong_. Nick hesitantly reached out his hand when he saw Paige bowed her head down, looking anxious and defeated. He carefully put his hand on her shoulder, causing Paige to look up again expectantly.

"It's okay…I, I understand." Nick said with a tight smile, hoping it was enough to show how sincere he was. "Now go, you can't be late for practice."

Paige's eyes widened in surprise, she expected arguments, some yelling, and disapproving look. She expected her dad to get mad at her again, telling her how disappointed he was of her, but none of that happened. It took a while to process but her body moved almost automatically, she jumped off the stool, grabbing her stuff off the floor and started to make her way to the front door. After several steps, she stopped, glanced over her shoulder, seeing her dad already focused on his newspaper again with a cup in his hand. "Uh, thanks, Dad." She muttered out quickly, and then turned her head back upfront, resuming the process of reaching the front door. Paige missed the relief smile on her dad's face, the same smile she wore as she stepped out her house, knowing in her heart that her future days would only get brighter.

* * *

_March 2012_

_Paige slammed her bedroom door; tossed her bag to the floor and collapsed to the ground, her legs splayed in front of her, her back against the door. The day had been…disastrous. Everything seemed to go wrong. She couldn't focus on her study, her timing was off; her dad had been on her case again, telling her to straighten up her act. It took a toll on her, all the pressure and expectations. She couldn't believe in herself anymore, everything she had worked on was not enough to please her dad. Her parents started to fight more; over the fact that her dad wasn't around to really pay attention to his family, on how he put his work and his company above everything else, her mom would point out how she noticed Paige was struggling with something and Nick would brush it off easily, saying that Paige was only trying to seek for attention when she really should focus more on her study and swimming. _

_She knew for sure that the night would be one of those nights when her parents would fight, mostly because earlier her dad just got a report from her coach, telling him that her time had been off and that she wasn't as focused in her training lately. Everything was slipping out of her grasp, with all the lying, with all the masks she had to put on. She was losing herself and she had nowhere to turn to; not her friends and definitely not her parents. The only person who could relieve her from all the pain was Emily and she wasn't there with her. She couldn't be there for her; the distant between them only intensified the excruciating force eating away at her soul, her very being. She didn't want to hide anymore, she wanted to belong._

_Paige heard everything through the closed door; her parents' argument, how could she not? They were yelling at each other, throwing out blame over who's responsible for letting her slacking off. She could hear her mom trying to defend her case, asking her dad to go easy on her for once but of course Nick was having none of it._

"_She needs to work harder. She is better than this; she has to be the best!" _

"_She already worked harder than anyone Nick! She has done more than enough; she has done everything we could ask of her. Why can't you see that we'll only push her away if we push too hard?"_

"_Don't spoil the child. If she has done enough, I wouldn't get a disappointing report from her coach!"_

"_Is that all you care about? Her time? Her grades? What about her happiness? What about being there for her? She needs us, she is struggling with something. But she won't come to me, to you, because she doesn't think we care. All you care about is your company and your public image! She's our daughter, not some trophy you can parade around among your colleagues!"_

"_Don't you dare throwing that at me! It's not like you're around as much with your crazy schedule, being on-call 24/7! And you say I'm more workaholic than you?!"_

"_At least I still try to be there for her! I still manage to have dinner with her; I still go to her swim meets. I still hug her and kiss her goodnight whenever I can! I notice how she doesn't smile as much! I notice how she tends to hold back her tears now just because she knows you would only see it as a sign of weakness. Can't you see what you're doing to her?"_

"_So it's solely my fault now?!"_

_Paige couldn't bear listening to more of it; to the fact that a rift had grown between her parents, that she was the reason they were tearing each other apart. She reached out her bag, retrieving her phone from the side pocket. She pressed 1, even without the speed dial, she could easily type out the number she had known by heart. After the second ring, she heard the loving sound of Emily._

"_Hi, Paige! This is a nice surprise, I thought we're gonna have a Skype date tonight?" Emily answered excitedly before she inquired on the impromptu call her girlfriend make._

"_Yeah. I just..." Paige flinched as she heard a banging sound from downstairs. "I just…" She didn't have it in her to finish her sentence; she knew she would only choke out a sob instead._

"_Paige, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Emily sensed the difference in her girlfriend's tone, how defeated she sound…how broken she is. "Paige, what's happening? Talk to me…" Emily asked pleadingly, as she could hear how uneven Paige's breathing was._

"_It's nothing…" Paige let out, her voice hoarse. Tears started to roll down her face, making her vision blurred. She shut her eyes, pressing the heel of her hand hard on her temple. "Can you just please talk to me? I just…need to hear your voice. Please…"_

"…_What do you want me to say, Paige? I don't…" Emily responded dejectedly, at lost on what to do to help Paige in this situation. If she was there, close to Paige, she would hold her tight, comfort her through her tears, and convince her that she is not alone. _

_Paige took in a sharp breath, feeling her throat constricting. "…anything. Tell me about your day, about your friends, what happened in school today…let me hear your voice. I need to feel you here with me."_

_Emily was silent for a while, trying to hold back tears that threaten to fall. "Okay…so, this morning I woke up at 5, my first thought was to text you, to let you know that you were the first thing on my mind, just like every other day, and then…"_

_Emily continued on her story, going through the details of her day. Somehow her voice was enough to soothe Paige, to drown out all other noises around her. It was enough. For a while, she didn't feel like she wanted to disappear._

* * *

"So, I heard another date is in order this week? What kind of fairy tale scene you've prepared now, Paige?" Hanna asked teasingly.

"Hanna! Stop it, will you?" Emily reprimanded, noticing how Paige get all fidgety in her seat, with a blatant blush on her face.

The day after her first date, Emily got her friends together; she invited them to her house, hinting that her mom's famous lasagna and apple strudel would be waiting for them. Of course, the girls, especially Hanna, were more than happy to oblige. After the wonderful lunch they shared, Emily didn't even have to begin; Hanna beat her into it as she demanded for her to tell them everything that had transpired, reminding her not to leave any kind of details. Emily didn't need to be asked twice, she told them everything, down to the littlest gesture Paige did. Every now and then, she would get an 'awe' or a 'that's so cute' or 'damn, that girl's got game', obviously that last comment only came from Hanna. It was obvious to the girls that Emily really liked Paige; maybe it was from the way Emily smiled so brightly, or how her eyes sparkle when she talked about the other girl. They were just so happy for her and they wanted her to know that she had their full support.

And so the next Monday, Emily had managed to convince Paige to join her and her friends for lunch, telling her that her friends can't wait to get to know her. Paige was still hesitant about it, but she knew that if she wanted things between her and Emily to work out, she would need Emily's friends to like her. So she obliged. At first, she couldn't hide how nervous she was. Hanna was the easiest to get along with, just because she had been helping her out in Trig class and because she was…well, Hanna. With Aria, they had things in common like their passion in art and photography; it's easy to strike up a conversation with the eccentric girl. If only things can things can be that simple when it comes to Spencer Hastings. It was her sixth time sharing the table with the girls, but Spencer remained to be a tough nut to crack.

"Oh come on, Ems. She really doesn't mind me asking, don't you Paige?" Hanna directed her gaze at Paige, who still squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.

"Yeah, of course, I don't mind. But actually our date this week was Emily's idea. So I really have no idea what she has up her sleeves." Paige answered Hanna's question but her eyes were fixated to the tan girl next to her. Emily smiled shyly at her.

"One thing for sure, don't let her cook you anything. You'd think that being a daughter of an amazing cook like Mrs. Fields would rub off on her, but no, she can't cook for the life of her and…Ow! What was that for?" Hanna yelled out slightly annoyed with the stunt Emily just pulled, she hunched down to rub her feet.

"That is my thank you note for scaring Paige off." Emily answered coldly, glaring indignantly at Hanna. "But no, I won't cook for you Paige, don't worry." Emily promptly gazed back at Paige, dipping her head down in embarrassment.

The girls found it so cute and funny, they just chuckled and laughed. Paige thought it was adorable and endearing so she couldn't help but lean in and kiss Emily on her temple. "I wouldn't mind trying out your cooking, Emily." Paige said softly, her eyes filled with honesty and adoration. The gesture made Aria and Hanna squealed while Spencer only smirked coolly.

"So Paige, I read that article you wrote on bureaucrat arrogance. I gotta say it's...insightful, why don't you join our debate team? I'm sure we can use someone like you." Spencer pointed out, reaching out for her bottle of water, looking cautiously at Paige.

"Oh, is that an almost compliment from a Spencer Hasting?" Hanna teased, glancing at Aria for backup.

"That is surely an almost compliment." Aria confirmed, nodding her head looking almost too serious.

"Please, let's not get out of context here." Spencer remarked, rolling her eyes.

Paige only dipped her head, taken aback by the way Spencer _almost _being civilized with her. But then she felt a tug on her arm that caused her to look up again, only to be greeted by Emily's sheepish smile. "I guess it's obvious that you're starting to grow on her." She whispered sweetly on Paige's ear, effectively causing the auburn haired girl blush slightly, she felt Emily's breath caressing her cheek, it almost made her shiver.

"Thank you. I will think about it. Right now I need to focus on swimming, but maybe after all the excitement settled down." Paige responded hesitantly, giving Spencer a tight smile.

"So, about that date…" Hanna interjected, clearly she wasn't willing to let go. What's good of Hanna without her charm and ability to pry on other people's life?

"Han, drop it, I'm not gonna tell you." Emily retorted.

"Jeez, give a girl a break. I was just wondering, it is gonna be your fourth date already, maybe it's time for the much needed lip-lock…"

Emily stood up abruptly, her face red with embarrassment and fury. She took Paige's hand in hers. "We're leaving, come on, Paige."

"Oh come on! I'm kidding…"

* * *

It was another routine Emily had grown to love, Paige walking beside her, holding her hand firmly. Just one of the things she always hoped for, one of the things she got used to so easily. Having Paige around close to her is definitely better than how it used to be when they had to endure the distance and months apart only to meet for a short period of time. Paige's grip was strong yet gentle and warm; Emily liked how Paige would brush her thumb over the back of her hand every now and then. But she was aware of how quiet Paige seemed to be, she wondered if it was because Hanna's comment earlier. Emily couldn't deny that she was thinking about it too, that she had thought about it many times, why Paige seemed so hesitant to kiss her? She felt like she was a hormonal teenage boy, eager to have more physical contacts. But really, who could blame her? She remembered how soft and plump those lips were, she could still recall how Paige's touch makes her tremble in anticipation. They had been hanging out a lot lately, at lunch time, swim practices, and their weekly dates. There were moments when Emily was sure that Paige wanted to kiss her, there were moments when the other girl would lean in closer just to pull away so suddenly.

That afternoon, Paige was walking Emily to The Brew right after school. Pam had borrowed her car since hers was in the auto shop for a tune-up. Emily didn't mind though, since it meant she got just a little bit more time to be with Paige. She always felt like they need to make up for lost time, so every second spent with Paige was just another second she wasn't willing to trade for anything else in the world. She felt a gentle pull on her arm causing her to look up, that was when she realized they had reached their destination. Paige moved to face her.

"So, here we are." Paige said with a calm smile.

"How did we get here so fast?" Emily questioned absentmindedly.

"Well, maybe because you were day-dreaming along the way?" Paige said with a teasing tone.

"Right…sorry." Emily smiled shyly, looking down, tucking strand of hair behind her ear. "I just…You seemed rather quiet today, I was just wondering why." Emily looked up and stared at those mesmerizing brown eyes. "Is it because of what Hanna said? I'm sorry, I should've never told them about what's going on with us and…"

"Emily, it's okay." Paige quickly cut her off. "They're your friends; you should be able to share anything with them. And I don't mind Hanna really; I'm used to her…bluntness." Paige reasoned, arching one of her eyebrows deciding on the right word to describe Hanna.

Emily chuckled. "You're being too nice, I can think of many other not nice words to describe her." Emily looked down at their hands again, intertwining their fingers. "But really, don't mind what she said, cause I like what we have and where we are now…" Emily reached up and gently caressed Paige's cheek, smiling intently.

Paige held her gaze, taking Emily's arm in her hand. "I really like you, Emily. And I just don't want to rush anything…no matter how old-fashioned that makes me. Because meeting you, getting to know you, it's been so unexpected and I still can't believe that you agreed to go out with me in the first place." Paige rubbed the back of her neck, grinning nervously.

"Well I think you're cute. And I like you too Paige, remember that, okay?" Emily moved in closer, tilted her head and kissed Paige on her cheek. When she pulled away, she saw Paige's face had turned a deeper shade of red; it was the cutest thing in the world.

"Okay…right." Paige cleared her throat. "So, I'll be here when you're done." Paige started to step backwards, away from the raven beauty that had her captivated since the day they met.

"It's gonna be quite late, you don't have to walk me home, Paige…"

Paige kept on walking away. "I want to. I'll see you later." And with a small wave, she turned her back, leaving Emily standing there with a faraway look.

* * *

**P.S. **Okay, it's not getting there yet, but it's in the process of that. I did tell you that I'm gonna write their growing relationship to be believable and real. I thought of writing a longer chapter and end it on a high note but then it'll take more time so I decided that I need to get something up already because I've been missing for a month. So, thank you for being so patient. I'm currently writing the next installment. Looking forward to reading your comments and reviews, I appreciate each and every one of them.

Ah! Also, I've written a little story called **Teenage Drama**, it's something entirely different, I just thought I'd put it out there. This is not me 'forcing' you to read it :p


End file.
